Ordinary People ExtraOrdinary Love
by Jazzy Raveler
Summary: This was a oneshot about Sean and Emma dating when he gets back! Now extended into a chapter story different song for every chapter of Drama! Strictly my imagination...gotta love these two!
1. Ordinary Day

**_Author's Note:_**

Ok you guys. For any fans of my other story "the Long Date Goodbye" I am literally sitting here almost in tears because I just finished typing, what I thought was a very well put together-and very climatic-chapter 6 and was going to finish chapter 7 when I lost heart thanks to my piece of crap cpu freezing me out and now I've lost the entire chapter! I was so sad and now I am struggling to push through and rewrite it. Anyway, though I was not planning to debut this for a long time ( I wrote it today). Not sure how long I was going to wait to debut it but I wanted to finish first story first. Sorry for all the talk and I was so psyched to complete it this weekend! I really was! Anyway though, I _had_ to post something kind of like a aspirin for my writing horror headache. So here's...something. It's not that good. It's a Sean and Emma story and trust, trust, trust me it has no resemblance to the what is going to happen in "The Long Date". But I wanted to write a songfic. and this is it. Sorry for the long-windedness but I am truly truly depressed. Please review everybody...I'd feel a lot better.

**_Disclaimer: I do not not own Degrassi! If I did I wouldn't be crying over a fanfic lost...it would be a script and it would've been written on a cpu that never freezes out Degrassi scripts!_**

**I also don't own the song "Ordinary People" it's John Legend's which is great cuz he sings it so much better than I do.**

**(sorry guys one more thing, I switched some of the lyrics around I kno so please no1 comment on it kay?)**

**Ordinary People; ExtraOrdinary Love**

**Sean:**

I've been back from Wasaga 6 months,

We've been dating 4.

I can feel her looking at me

in that same disgusted way, as I ly here flipping channels.

"What _now_, Emma?"

I ask with a sigh, turning my head towards her from my couch, _our_ couch really; she stays here enough.

Even as she shakes her head at me-

no doubt about to tell me something I've done wrong-

arms crossed,

blonde hair stiffened at her sides,

I stare at her so in love...so amazed that she's mine.

_girl I'm in love with you_

_this ain't the honeymoon_

_we're past that infatuation phase_

**Emma:**

As usual Sean thinks I'm mad at _him_.

Why can't he ever just ask me if I had a bad day?

Like _normal_ boyfriends?

Even thinking this I know that I'm fooling myself.

Sean Cameron has **never** been a "normal" boyfriend;

and I would never want him to be.

"Sean," I say annoyed, "Did it ever cross your mind that I'm not always angry with _you_!"

I sit beside him on the couch and stare at him waiting for a reaction.

He stares at the tv, feigning thought, and then shakes his head

"No." he says, with his trademark shrug "It hadn't."

Sometimes I _hate_ loving someone who thinks he knows it all.

_we're right in the thick of love_

_at times we get sick of love_

_it seems like we argue every day_

**Sean:**

No idea _what_ Emma is hinting at.

That she's mad at...my friends?

The way I still hang out with high-school dropouts like Jay?

Why can't she just get over that?

I turn to look at her,

Her lips are puckering the way they always do when she's upset,

And I wanna reach over and hug her;

Say I'm sorry for...whatever.

But I'm too busy being angry at her for not just telling me what it is, in the first place.

"If your not mad at me then what is it Emma? Hmmmph! Something you _think_ I've done, no doubt!"

I say pushing myself off of the couch and staring down at her angrily.

Suddenly, I remember an argument we've had a few times before.

And just the thought of her bringing it up makes me madder.

"I swear, Em, if you bring up drug-dealing one more time..."

_I know I've misbehaved_

_and you've made your mistakes_

_and we both still got room left to grow_

**Emma:**

Sean Cameron is _such_ an idiot.

"What are you talking about Sean!"

I scream as I stand up glaring directly into his eyes.

"I never said anything about drug-dealing!"

Now he shakes his head incredulously, his smug laughter following.

"Really! You don't remember worrying me for months that you thought Jay was drug-dealing!"

I remember_ that_ of course. Jay _was _dealing. I know...

But I _never_ thought it of Sean!

I'm a little shocked, and kind of hurt, that he thinks I would think this of him.

Am I really so judgmental that Sean thinks...that I think that little of him?

"Sean, I'm sorry..." I say, backing down; angry at myself for making him feel so judged.

I don't wanna argue about this.

We're not little kids anymore.

I wanna just be able to love...who I love.

Just the thought of another argument reduces me to tears.

Sean seems to understand my meaning and walks toward me.

"Oh, I'm sorry for yelling, Em." he says, stroking my hair

and pressing me soothingly against his chest.

"Don't cry,"

_but as our love advances_

_we take second chances_

_tho it's not a fantasy_

_I still want you to stay_

**Sean:**

Emma Nelson can be so convincing with her cute little face,

soft pink lips.

Sometimes when I hold her...

I never want to let her go.

"Sean? I never thought that _you_ were dealing."

She whimpers into my chest, ruining the moment unknowingly as

she punctures my guilty conscience.

_we're just ordinary people_

_we don't know which way to go_

_cause we're ordinary people_

_maybe we should take it slow_

_take it slow...ow...ow...ow...ow...ow_

_this time we'll take it slow_

**Sean:**

I can't take lying anymore;

not to her...not like this

I sigh, and somehow I finally manage to utter the words I've wanted to say for so long. "...I-I was."

The same instant I say it, I wish I hadn't.

I hold my breath. Hoping, _praying_, that the words were lost, unheard and unaffecting, into the silky blonde hair I've breathed them into.

They weren't.

In the next instant Emma is pushing away from me,

That look of disgust and disappointment, blazing in her brown eyes.

_this ain't the movies naw_

_no fairy tales conclusions ya'll_

_it gets more confusing everyday_

**Emma:**

"What! Sean! What the hell do you mean 'I was'?"

I scream and back away from him as he tries to grab hold of my arm,

I can't believe this.

This guy I love so much...

A freaking drug-dealer!

That goes every single moral I've ever had!

Everything I _thought_ I knew about Sean.

And even within the boundaries of leniency that I almost always grant Sean Cameron:

Love of my confusingly insane life,

_This _goes way past too far!

"Emma! Just listen-"

"No Sean! No!"

I shout, yanking away from him as he tries-unsuccessfully-to grab me again.

"Look! You and me?" I say pointing to him then, to me, "We're_ through_!" I say, snatch up my jean jacket, my purse, and my keys, and rush for the door.

"Emma!"

"Sean?" I say calmly, and turn to look at him "Look, I love you, you know that, but I can't deal with..._this!_

It's _too_ much Sean! I I-I just can't!"

I stammer, as I yank open the door.

I turn glancing at him once more before I leave:

He looks so stunned; so hurt.

He looks around desperately as though trying to _literally_ find something to say.

I shake my head softly, so disappointed in him.

"Goodbye, Sean."

And as soon as I close the door, the tears start to fall.

_sometimes it's heaven sent_

_then we_

_head back to hell again_

**Sean:**

Why does she always do _this_!

She always just assumes she knows what the hell is going on!

I am so sick of her bull!

I can't just let her leave like this though,

So, I rip open the door and she's sitting there, crying, just like I knew she would be.

"Emma..._" _I say, softly kneeling down, and I kiss her softly on the forehead.

She seems to be forgiving me,turning and kissing me a few times on the lips.

I sigh, relieved, ready to explain what happened.

Then, she yanks away from me, as though she just remembered _who_ she was kissing.

"No! Get away from me, Sean!" she shouts, shattering what little hope I had, and rushing down the stairs.

_we kiss and we makeup on the way_

_**(Emma, driving down the street)**_

**Emma:**

"Sean, I have nothing to say to you," I say into my cell, before I hang up again.

Why does Sean think he can just do anything and then make up for it with a phone call?

I am so sick of this:

This love/hate relationship.

All we ever do is break-up and then make-up...

Just to break-up all over again.

And it's always because of him doing something stupid. Like _drug dealing._

A tear rolls down my cheek and I can almost feel my heart breaking again.

I was so happy; I thought we'd make it last this time...for real.

"No," I say to myself, as I stop at the red light,

"This is the last time I'll let Sean Cameron break my heart.-the _last _time."

_I hang up you call_

_we rise and we fall and we feel like just walking away..._

_**(Sean, slamming his car door and then marching up to Emma's front door0**_

**Sean:**

Everything about this shit is making me mad!

_Why do I always have to explain everything to her?_

_Why do I always have to **convince** her that I love her?_

I think, as I stop at Emma's front door.

I knock on the door and roll my eyes at myself thinking,

_Because, you idiot,... you **love** her._

_but, though love sometimes hurts,_

_I'll still put you first_

**Emma:**

I open the door and Sean is standing there, trying to look pitiful-and succeeding.

"What do you want Sean?"

I say robotically, with a tired sigh,

I'm angry at myself for even answering the door, let alone talking to him.

"It was once Em, one time! And only cause

I needed the money r_eally_ bad!"

"That's no excuse Sean!"

I yell my hair bouncing violently in my face as I do.

I'm not trying to lecture Sean; not trying to scream at him,

But, sometimes, Sean can be _so_ stupid!

He shakes his head, his voice breaking,

"Emma, I'd just gotten back ok? and I didn't have any money,

I couldn't stay with Jay...I was sleeping in my car...

I couldn't even get a job! Jay told me if I went with him a few nights

I could earn the money."

He says gesturing with his arms wildly, as he explains.

I can't believe what he's saying and I close my eyes with a small sigh and say calmly,

"Sean? Are you telling me that you got your apartment with _drug_ money?"

As I speak, tears form rapidly in my eyes.

"No, Emma! No, that's _not_ what I'm saying! " Sean says, a burst of anger in his voice.

"Look...I stopped! I stopped ok! I couldn't stand the thought that_ I _might've-I might've_ hooked_ somebody!" Tears are streaming forcefully down his reddened face as he continues, unable to look at me. "I gave the money to some-some charity, Emma. Some drug rehab charity or something."

I stare dumbly at my feet and a few tears fall from my eyes,

Sean Cameron leniency already beginning to kick in.

When I look back at him, Sean is stammering to get the last few words out,

and I tell myself that whatever they are,

they don't matter,

I've already forgiven him.

_we'll make this thing work_

_but I think we should take it slow_

**Emma:**

"I borrowed money from your-from Snake to get my apartment." Sean says staring off into the distance, "I couldn't tell you because I knew-...I knew you'd think I was a failure!"

I can't take anymore and I step out the door

embracing Sean, his tears finding solace on my shoulder and mine on his.

"Never Sean! Never! I love you!"

I say forgiving him and loving him in that moment, more than he could ever understand.

_we're just ordinary people_

_we don't know which way to go_

_cause we're ordinary people_

_maybe we should take it slow_

_take it slow...ow...ow...ow...ow...ow_

_this time we'll take it slow _

**Sean:**

She's back in my arms, and the world is right again

"I love you too!" I say,

hugging her tightly and then kissing her forcefully.

She kisses me back and we ease our way down her walk and towards my car.

_Take it slow_

_maybe we'll live and learn_

**Emma:**

I'm so ashamed that I'm always jumping to conclusions about Sean.

And on the drive back to his

apartment I don't really know what to say.

I look at him, studying his face, loving his eyes, his smile, his lips.

"Sean," I say finally, determined to fill the silence.

He turns and looks at me,

"Don't ever screw _us_ over again because of your dumb male pride!"

He laughs a little "Ok," he says turning back toward the road.

I hear him scream, and I do too as I turn my attention forward; a big brown pick-up truck barrels into us.

_maybe we'll crash and burn_

**Sean:**

"Emma!" I yell my heart rate quickening.

I shake her violently,

"Emma!"

_She's unconscious_, I think, _not **dead-**unconscious_ I think, trying to will it to be true. Tears begin to sting my eyes as I shake her harder. "Emma!"

She groans a little, and my hope returns wavering in-between hoping she's perfectly alright, and hoping she's just alive.

_maybe you'll stay_

**Emma:**

"Sean!" I gasp, catching my breath and jerking my head up.

I can feel everything; my legs; my arms; I'm not hurt, but I turn towards

Sean, my heart seeming to burn...

Is he ok?

"Sean!" I say, jerking my head in his direction,

He can't die on me

not now!

_maybe you'll leave_

**Sean:**

"I'm ok, Em," I say breathing a deep sigh of relief and wiping my eyes with my sleeve, as I reach over and stroke her soft, pale face.

Tears slide down her face as she whispers, "I thought you were-"

"I'm ok, Em." I reassure her nodding, "Are you?"

Emma yanks her face out of my hands,

her sadness replaced by a look of relieved sarcasm,

"Dead, Sean?"

I manage a weak as I say matter-of-factly,

"You know, Emma, you coulda been, cuz if _you_ wanted to come back, I'm sure even the grim reaper himself couldn't stop you..."

She hits me in the arm and we both laugh lightly, glad to be able to.

_maybe you'll return_

**Emma:**

The truck smashed the front of Sean's car...head on I think,

A drunk driver I'm sure.

I remember seeing the headlights but nothing else, really.

"What happened, Sean?" I say, staring over the smashed in dashboard at the mangled truck in front of us.

Sean blinks at me and says exasperated, "_I'm_ supposed to know!"

_maybe another fight_

**Sean:**

"Sean!" Emma says staring at me with annoyance.

"Sorry," I say, backing down a little, no time to be a jackass, "I just-I don't know. Musta been some drunk."

We both push open our car doors and step out into the street.

Cars whiz past us on either side,

I turn around to stare at the cars for one second...

and Emma screams.

"Emma! Are you ok?" I say jumping onto and over the car.

In my rush, I stumble, falling over the car and landing, legs sprawled, my head throbbing at the rumble of the oncoming cars.

_maybe we won't survive_

**Emma:**

"Sean, It's Jay!" I yell, after pulling Sean up off the road and to my side.

There in the driver's seat of the brown truck is Jay Hogart;

Sean's best friend.

"My God! Jay!" Sean says, pushing his arm through the window

and shaking his unconscious friend.

_**Hospital:**_

**Emma:**

Sean paces back and forth

and I sit in the hospital lobby chair crying.

The realization that we both-and even jay-might've

been killed has suddenly hit me,

and I sob at the thought.

"Emma, don't." Sean says sliding into the seat next to me and placing his arm around me.

"Sean? Haven't you ever noticed that something tragic is always happening when it comes to us?" I say staring up at the ceiling with a shudder. "I mean, God! Maybe these are-maybe there some kind of signs."

Sean stares at me blankly, as though what I'm saying doesn't even _begin_ to register.

Then he says,"Yeah, you're right Emma; these _are_ some kinds of signs." He pauses, looking into space and I freeze waiting for what he'll say.

Sean turns back towards me, his eyes full, "Signs that we can handle anything...together."

He pulls me into his chest and I cry a little more feeling so safe in his strong, welcoming arms.

_but you never know maybe we'll grow_

_baby you and I_

_**That Night...**_

**Sean:**

Laying on the couch with Emma Nelson,

I thank God that we both survived that crash,

And I squeeze her tightly kissing her hair.

Jay's gonna be ok too,

the doctors said.

But, he is going to be put away for drunk driving, once he wakes up.

That's Jay for ya' poor guy and his dumb luck.

I'm not Jay though

and even though I feel for him

I feel too deeply for the girl in my arms right now

to focus in on his situation...

I sigh with relief knowing that we'll be alright.

_we're just ordinary people_

**Emma:**

Nothing is ever perfect with Sean.

But this-this moment feels so...amazing.

Just remembering the panic that hit when I thought he was gone...

let's me know that even if we don't figure it all out right now...

_we don't know which way to go_

_**Sean/Emma:**_

We'll be fine if we can just stick this through...

living...

loving ...

learning...

together...

_cause we're ordinary people_

_maybe we should take it slow_

_take it slow ow ow ow ow_

_this time we'll take it slow _

_**(Afterword: Ok guys what did ya think? Pls comment. Pls! It'll make me feel so much better**_

_**Love ya!)**_


	2. No Idea

_**Author's Note:**_

Okay guys, this was supposed to be a oneshot but a few comments-Yes, that's all it took-seduced me into writing another chapter. I know anyone who read chapter one may be a little confused reading this. But I had _had_ **_had_** to use this song. I love it! And it's fits the situation perfectly! And plus I think it's pretty good. If you don't get it at first just read all the way through…you'll see! (I hope!)

Ok if you like this please comment and it'll continue!

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi, If I did it would be a year round season like a soap opera and I wouldn't be soothing my cravings reading and writing my own Degrassi sob stories tear! And I don't own the song either…"Crawling back to you" is the Backstreet Boys…**_

**Chap 2: No Idea**

**_Scene: Sean Standing at Emma's door, drifting in thought_**

What the Hell am I going to say?

'Hi Emma! Remember me? I'm the bastard that bailed on you just when you needed me; can I come in!'

_What the hell was I thinking breaking up with her anyway...? _I wonder angrily, shaking my head at the answer I don't have. The same way I didn't have the answer when everyone else asked me…

_**At school in the hallway: Paige**: So Seanny, Why exactly did you break it off with your yellow haired lover? She's quite the fox now, you know!_

_**Between classes: Manny**: Sean, I'm not sure it would be a good idea to try and talk to Emma, she doesn't really wanna see you..._

_**On the phone: Spike**: Sean, Honey, Emma won't take your calls. She told me to tell you that she's not home. I'm really sorry about what happened with you 2. No Sean, I can't convince her to-…Well, honey, you broke up with her, remember?_

_Everybody knows that I was such a fool to ever let go of you…_

Of course I remember! How the hell could I forget that!

I missed her so much, I wanted to say sorry that same day. About the ravine...my comment about Snakes Cancer...dissing her with Amy.

_Baby I was wrong_

I let it get to me.

Her.

Wanting me to be better; believing I _could_ be when I didn't even believe it myself

Snake calls it "male pride".

I call it me being an asshole...I'm pretty sure Emma would agree with me.

I figured I'd be cool, ya'know?

We're from two different worlds me and her.

I'm just a nobody, on a downward spiral to Hell.

She's ...an angel.

_Yeah I know I said we'd be better off alone_

_It was time that we moved on_

All the crap that I put her through

It's all rushing into my mind.

I remember the day she gave me back all my stuff

Stood in front of the house and broke down crying as she walked away

And all I did was look at her

Amy hanging off my shoulder

I wanted to go after her

But I couldn't

And I could almost feel her heartache

I wasn't trying to hurt her

She took it harder than I thought she would

Harder than I had the strength to show that I cared about

_I know I broke your heart, I didn't mean to break your heart_

_That was then!_ I think as I step up to her door.

I hold my hand in the air for a moment before letting it fall into rapid knocks on her door

_She'll answer_

I think

_She'll answer_

I hope

_Baby here I am_

_Banging on your front door_

_My pride spilled on the floor_

Nothing is more nerve-racking

than the moments after that first set of knocking

She's not answering

I bang harder, my hand growing red as I slam it into the door

"Emmaa! Open the door Emma!"

_My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you_

_Begging for a second chance_

_Are you gonna let me in?_

_I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you_

She wouldn't talk to me at school

"Leave me alone, Sean!" she screamed with her hateful stare

I hate Emma's stares

They make me feel sick

She is right to be angry though;

After the way I treated her

I knew that this would happen

But it's okay…

I'm prepared to wait all day if I have to…

_I know you're in there and you can make me wait_

After about 15 minutes of this

I pound harder on the door

"Go away, Sean!" Emma screams finally

I smile. At least she spoke,

"Emma, I'm not leaving until you come out here and talk to me!"

I yell.

I know Snake and Spike aren't home.

Manny told me they'd be out

Emma stayed home to watch Jack.

This is cool though.

Emma is standing on the other side of the door

I know, I heard her walk up to it.

And now I am waiting for her to work up the nerve to open it

"What do you want, Sean!" She says with a loud uninterested sigh, from the other side of the door.

"I'm not leaving until you come out here and talk to me!" I yell

Faking more courage than I feel

Knowing I have to do this

_But I'm not gonna wait_

_It's the least that I can do, just to tell you face to face_

"Emma, would you just come out here?"

I say, a hint of restrained annoyance in my voice.

"For what, Sean? What do _want_, Sean!"

She says-practically screams-her voice growing angry

I sigh a little

"To Apologize…"

I sigh, simply hanging my head a little

I can feel my insides churning

I have to tell her how I really feel

Tell her what has been happening to me

Since I left Degrassi

More importantly

Since I left…her

_I was lying to myself, now I'm dying in this hell_

"Emma, I know you don't wanna talk to me. But I have to

talk to you alright. I _need_ to talk to you."

_Girl I know you're mad, I can't blame you for being mad_

"Sean? Why don't you just go back to Wasaga…?"

She says quietly banging-what I assume is-her head

Gently against the door…

"Why?" I say trying to think of something anything that will get through to her

Make her see that I'm serious. It hits me. Tell the truth

"Everything I need-is it's all here…"

_Baby here I am_

_Banging on your front door_

_My pride spilled on the floor_

_My hands and knees are bruised and now I'm crawling back to you_

_Begging for a second chance_

_Are you gonna let me in?_

_I was running from the truth and now I'm crawling back to you_

"Emma please just open the door." I say after a slight pause,

She doesn't and I feel tears stinging my eyes.

I'm not as prepared as I thought and rub my eyes quickly

_Shit!_ I think, as I notice that my hands are shaking and it's making it harder for me to wipe away the tears.

_If you could see these tears I'm crying_

_Touch these hands that can't stop shaking_

_Hear my heart that's barely beating_

_Have I really lost her?_ I think, solemnly.

But then,

The door creaks open slowly and there she is

She's not smiling but she opened the door

That's a start…

"Emma," I say stepping up to her

"Talk from there, Sean!" She warns me holding out her hands defensively

"Ok." I say taking a step back

"Look Emma, I know that it was messed up…the way I broke up with you

"And treated me," she says tartly,

"And treated you…" I agree, ashamed to think of it all now

"But the shooting…going to Wasaga...it changed me Emma, I've changed a lot. And it also made me realize that there's only one thing I ever really wanted.

You, Emma. You."

I say, holding my breath as I lean forward to kiss her.

_You will see a different man_

"Get off me, Sean!" Emma says pushing me away from her immediately.

"Look," she says shaking her head her face cold emotionless "I'm glad you've changed, Sean. That's good and I'm glad that you're able to admit that you were wrong. But, after the shooting…while you were in Wasaga…I realized some things too.

"I realized that the source of all my problems seemed to be you Sean Cameron. And I'll admit it was hard, but I'm got over you. I finally got over you, Sean."

As she finishes some guy, blonde hair-

I think Peter's his name-walks up beside her, kissing her on the cheek.

The guy has two sodas in his hands and he looks at me, seemingly just noticing I'm standing here.

"What's up?" he says nodding at me with his dumb pretty boy chin.

"Way past over you."

Emma says, turning and kissing him strongly as I watch my jaw clenched and my fisted balling up slowly….

"Good bye Sean," Emma says, closing the door and walking out of my life…

"Emma! Emma!" I yell banging on the door

"I love you, Emma! Don't do this to us! I love you!

_But baby here I am_

_Banging on your front door_

_My pride spilled on the floor_

_My hands and knees are bruised and I'm crawling back to you (come on)_

_Begging for a second chance_

_Are you gonna let me in? (let me in)_

_I was running from the truth, now I'm crawling back to you_

Sinking to the ground I cry, struggling against my self hatred

I break down hitting the door over and over again with my near-raw fists,

as though this will somehow change her mind.

But as I lean against the door, crying on her doorstep, I realize that I really have lost her.

_Banging on your front door (darling)_

_My pride spilled on the floor_

_I was running from the truth, now I'm crawling back to you, yeah_

_Now I'm crawling back to you_

_Crawling back to you_

_Crawling back to you_

_Crawling back to you_

**Emma:**

I'm laying comfortably on Sean's chest-sleeping I should add-when he suddenly jerks up knocking me to the ground.

"Sean! What's wrong!" I say, sitting up quickly

And then clicking on the lamp on the bedside table.

He's sweating badly and he looks almost as if…

Like he's been crying…

Only…in his_…**sleep**!_

Sean stares at me, blinking hard, like…he's trying to remember who I am.

Then he breaks into a smile and holds out his arms for me.

I walk over to him and sit next to him on the bed

Wrapping my arms around his warm sweaty body.

He grabs me; kisses me, real intensely like he's trying to reassure me that he loves me.

Sean's only been kissing me _this_ hard-in the middle of night-lately for one reason…

"Another nightmare?" I say softly when he finally lets my face go and I move my hand up his neck and onto his head; playing gently with his soft brown hair.

He nods with a small laugh "Yeah,"

**Sean:**

"Sean, I'm sorry." She says hugging my neck tightly.

"It's been a year and a half Sean.

"I really thought the shooting nightmares would've stopped by now."

I sigh, leaning my head down and kissing her strawberry scented hair.

I've never let her know what the nightmares are really about…

And I won't.

I'm not lying though

I never said they were about Rick, and the shootings…

She just assumed it.

"It's okay." I say with a shrug

"It was just a nightmare."

"I know," she says studying my eyes intently.

"But…I know they can be really bad…was this one...I mean, was it-?"

**Emma:**

He shakes his head no.

Then he reaches over turning out the lamp…

"It's not that big a deal." He says as he settles back against his pillow, urging me to rest my head on his chest again warming his heart and mine.

I don't ever really expect Sean to talk about his nightmares

He never has…

And I know that he won't.

But he's been having them a lot lately

And I'm getting sorta-semi concerned

"Sean, it's ok, I say jokingly, to sheer him up.

"I mean your "**_Sean Cameron_**" for God sakes!

"I'm sure there's _nothing_ you can't handle."

I say, snuggling up beside him and gently kissing his cheek…

it's wet and I softly press my face against his tears, realizing that even though he won't say it, the dream must've been really bad.

Eerily, as though reading my mind-although I realize that he's only responding to my last statement, but still…-

"Emma?" Sean whispers roughly after a small pause,

"You have _no_ idea."

**Please Please comment guys if you liked this!**


	3. Loving all the Little Things

**Author's Note:**

Okay Guys this chapter is a little different from the others but I just wanted you guys to view Em and Sean's home life before the drama started again! Let me know what ya think and it'll continue...

**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi if I did the new season would've already started and Emma and Sean really would be practically living together… **

**The song is "little things" by India Arie. And Actually for this chapter I only used the chorus of the song.**

**Chap 3-Loving all the Little Things…**

_**Doing Laundry **_

**Emma:**

"Sean Cameron? You are going to learn how to do laundry if it's the last thing I do!"

I yell at him from the small musty laundry room.

No answer.

I walk into the living room with his previously white -now bright pink boxers and my previously white

Now _brightly_ pink tee shirt

The one that my _mom_ bought me on my birthday.

He's on the couch watching TV; not exactly a constructive way to spend a Saturday morning. "Sean?" I say walking up behind him; the car crashes are too loud.

I bend down close to his ear.

He feels my breath I guess, and he turns his head toward me halfway smiling. I smile back...and then

I pick the boxers up and stuff them right over his stupid face.

Sean rips the boxers off his head and throws them down. He stands up laughing "Come here!" and then I run leading him into the laundry room.

"See…" I say waving my arms demonstratively as he comes in, "It's called laundry, Sean. It doesn't do itself. And reds, " I say swooping down picking up some red cap that Sean inadvertently-I hope- stuffed in with our whites. "_Don't_ go _in_ with _whites_." I say waving the pink tee in his face. Sean just blinks at me.

**Sean:**

"What's the big deal?" I say shrugging.

"They're pink!" Emma yells holding her arms out, like she always does when she's bothered. I force myself not to smile at her-she's so cute-and say with a nod-cuz I really don't get the problem.

"So?...You're a girl...you _wear_ pink." Emma stares at me as though I'm an idiot and then screams dropping the clothes and shaking my shoulders "But _you_ don't!" I frown up at her…she's really making no sense right about now-no matter how cute she is- "Riightt…" I say slowly "That's _why_ I gave the boxers to you."

**Emma:**

I freeze, my mouth gaping, _Is_ _Sean really serious?_

I wonder,

and finally yell "Uuuuggghh!"

Sean grabs me-such a wuss's move-kissing me passionately.

He always does this when he has no idea how to end an argument. Even a not at all that serious one like this one. And I can't help but smile as I pull away from him.

But I still lean my forehead into his chest and say with a sigh, knocking my head into him and closing my eyes,

"Sean? You _will_ learn to do laundry if it's the _last_ thing I do."

Sean stares at me, his smile disappearing and then says quietly, hugging me tightly to his chest,

"Doesn't look like I'll be learning anytime soon then…"

God...I love him!

_It's the little things (It's the little things) _

_And the joy they bring. _

_It's the little things _

_It's the little things (it's the little things) _

_And the joy they bring_

**_On the Phone-Come Over_**:

_Sean:_ Emma…you coming by later?

_Emma _(Playfully): Why? Do you _want_ me to?

_Sean:_ Sure,

_Emma_ (in babyish voice): Do you really really want me to?

_Sean_ (getting annoyed): Yes, Emma. I really want you to

_Emma:_ Are you su-

_Sean:_ Emma! just get over here alright!

_Emma:_ Okay Sean. God, you don't have to go all postal…

Hangs up.

_It's the little things (It's the little things) _

_And the joy they bring. _

_It's the little things _

_It's the little things (it's the little things) _

_And the joy they bring_

_**T-shirts, Ice Cream, and Tv**_

**Sean:**

Today was so crazy. I didn't have time even have to call Em-"Hi Sean," Emma says zipping past me and kissing me lightly on the cheek. "Hey, Emma," I say, as she blurs past me again rushing to get some ice-no...ice cream-out of the freezer.

I'm not sure what she's doing...but I notice she's wearing my T-shirt.

I smile, she looks so cute in my clothes, but sometimes it's annoying... especially when it's the last clean shirt I have.

"Emma, is that the T-shirt that was on the bed?"

Emma pauses, spooning ice cream into her mouth before looking at me, wide-eyed and then down at the shirt curiously. "Um…yeah. I think it is." She says pulling the spoon out of her mouth. "Emma that was-hmmph!." I start but don't finish cuz she shoves the spoon in my mouth. "Sean! you have to taste this! Isn't it just... heavenly!" "Heavenly"! Gimme a break!

The ice cream _is_ good and I slurp it to the back of my throat, while Emma nods at me, smiling like a yuppy.

But still, I was trying to talk to her... "Emma! Don't _do_ that!" "Do what?" She says, looking into the ice cream pint innocently, and toying with another spoon. "_Don't_ stuff food in my mouith when I'm trying to talk to-Hmmph!" She shoves another spoon in my mouth and laughs. My head goes cold this time. I sucked it down too fast trying to get back to what I was saying. I hold onto the counter closing my eyes...my head spinning.

**Emma:**

I guess Sean got brain freeze,

At least I sure hope so, cuz he's looking _really _sickening.

"Awww, I'm sorry bay_by_" I say kissing his forehead "Are you alwight?"

I tease, as I rub his arm soothingly.

He snaps out of it and glares at me

"I'm fine now." He says wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve.

"Eew! Sean, _please_! That shirt is grimy enough without you putting your sticky ice cream mouth all over it." I say with a shudder, before snatching the pint off of the counter and heading back towards the living room.

"Emma!" "Not now Sean, I'm watching Sunset Edge. Ronny just drove over the edge of the cliff!" I call leaping back, onto the couch crossing my legs.

**Sean:**

God! Emma is so…distracted.

Anyway, I walk into my room and look for a remotely clean pair of... anything.

I guess Emma washed my jeans and I pull them on after slinging the dirty pair over the towel holder.

I turn around staring at the mess; clothes on the floor, socks in the corner. It's all mine of course, Emma would never be this messy. _Good thing Emma hardly comes in here_, I think and then say..."I'll do it later…" same way I always do, walking out and leaving the mess behind me.

I walk towards the living room and lean against the doorway. Emma is so cute staring at the Tv with her spoon mid-air and her eyes all wide open like something is about to jump out at her.

I look at the clock: _7:57_. Good. This junkie soap opera will be over in a moment and I stand here watching whatever this is, waiting for it to go off.

It ends with some chick falling off of a cliff like she's killing herself. Emma looks shocked and she's near tears but not the really bad kinda of tears. Just those dumb girly not really serious tears.

After the scene with the chicks arms spread out and falling off the edge the show goes off and Emma sits there open-mouthed; God, she's crazy!

I sneak up next to her. "Ha!" I yell and she screams practically falling off the couch.

I roll on the floor laughing. Girls are so easy!

**Emma:**

"Sean! What the heck is wrong with _you?_" I say sitting up, my heartbeat slowing down. But he just keeps laughing holding his sides like he's just so funny.

"Alright Mr. funny." I say, leaping down next to him digging my fingers into his sides. He's laughing really hard now, "Em-ma stop!" He says trying-but not really trying-to get away, "No, no, no!" I say, tickling him until he finally lifts up pushing me against the couch and saying "Ha!" right into my face, like I really care. I love him. I lean over and kiss him and for some reason, it just now registers that he's not wearing a shirt.

"Sean?" I say sitting up, a little "Why are you, like, _half-_naked?" He stares down at his chest as though he just notices this himself "I'm not," "You are." He looks at me blankly then he points to my bare legs, laughing "Then so are you!" "Um, hello? Girls can wear just t-shirts. It's like a mini-dress, it's cute." I say sitting up onto the couch. Sean just shakes his head at me and then laughs sitting up on the couch besides me "So…I'm not cute?" he says crossing his arms. I glance over at him; his shirt off and his black jeans on looking all babyish…of course he's cute…he's Sean." I smile at him "Shut up, Sean." And push him in the ribs.

**Sean:**

"What are we watching?" I ask and Emma glances at the tv then leans over clicking it off. "Nothing now, Sunset Edge just went off." I shake my head a little "Why do you watch that trash?" She gasps as though I've just said the worst thing I possibly could. "Sean, Sunset Edge is _not_ trash. It is the most romantic, most-" she's blabbing on about something and I stand up on the couch stretching out my arms and pretend to jump off a cliff. "What is romantic about jumping off of a cliff?" I say, with a laugh, sitting back down next to Emma "Ronny died, Sean." She says dramatically, "The girl's name is Ronny?"

**Emma:**

"No, Sean," I say pausing with a sigh. Guys are _so_ clueless. "Ronny is Simone's boyfriend." Sean blinks at me "And...who is Simone…?" "Simone, Sean! She's the one who just killed herself!" Sean thinks on this a moment "They made the girl die in the same show as her boyfriend?"

_Now_ I'm getting angry. _Uuuurrrgghhh_. "Sean?" I say, pulling my knees up on the couch and facing him. "Ronny was driving, and Harry-Simone's jealous half-brother-had cut the brake cables so that when Ronny was trying to stop before he drove over the edge, he couldn't stop and his car _flew_ into the ocean." Now Sean is actually looking interested.

"Hey that sounds kinda cool." _Cool?_ "Cool, Sean? It's tragic! Ronny died because of Simone's jealous half-brother and everyone thinks it was Hal's fault!" Now he looks confused again. "Wait a minute? Who's Hal?" "Hal is Simone's boyfriends best friend." Sean processes this for a moment "He was buddies...with the dead guy?" "Right." "So…why'd he kill him then?" "Sean, pay attention! Hal _didn't _kill him. Harry _did_?" "Why?" "Because he's in love with Simone!" "Wait! I thought she was his _sister_?" "She is." "So the guys in love with his sister?' "Well, yeah. I mean it's complicated Sean. They dated _before_ they knew they were related." Sean gets this look on his face like he just swallowed something horrible. "That's disgusting Emma! Why do you watch that?" "Sean! They've never been together _on_ the show!" "It's still sick." "No it's not it was so romantic." Sean sits up turning toward me, "You think that someone being in love with their half-brother is romantic? Watch out Jack!" I hit Sean in the shoulder. "Sean, no! First off he's in love with her, not the other way around. Second, that's not the romantic part." He turns towards me again rolling his eyes, but says, "Then what is, Emma?" "Ronny died in the car crash and his body went into the ocean so the police can't find it. Then at the end we all think that Simone is going to the cliff to break down crying, right. But then, out of nowhere, she stands up and she goes "I'll find you." And she just falls Sean, right into the water." I say and thinking about it I feel my eyes tear up agin,

"So wait a minute? She thinks that she can find him even though the cops or whatever can't?" I stare at Sean blankly, "She _can't _swim Sean." "Then why does she say 'I'll find you'?" My head is hurting now. "_Sean_! she is heartbroken that Ronny died and she's saying that she'll die too and then they'll be together." Sean blinks for a moment then says "Ooooohhhh, she killed herself because he died." "Right," "That's all you had to say." "Sean, shut up." I say but laugh a little as I lean over onto his shoulder.

"Don't you think that's dumb, Em?"

"What?"

"Killing yourself cuz you know, the person you loved is dead or whatever?"

I think about it for a moment then sigh, "I have no idea Sean, I mean..." I pause taking a breath "and hopefully won't have to find out."

Sean doesn't respond, he does that sometimes when I say something like this, so I just nuzzle my head in his shoulder sighing.

"Emma," Sean says after a moment, "Yeah?" "Do you think you could, do me ah...-a favor?"

Sean says after a moment,

"Okay Sean. what?" I say calmly, ready for anything.

"Try not to get yourself killed, ok?" He says slowly, and for just a millisecond, I think he's joking before realizing that the seriousness in his voice is a little too serious for a joke

I hug him tightly "_Ok_." I say and he holds me a little too tightly, but...I don't mind

_It's the little things (It's the little things) _

_And the joy they bring. _

_It's the little things _

_It's the little things (it's the little things) _

_And the joy they bring_

_**On the Phone-Love you too:**_

_Sean:_ Emma, what's up?

_Emma: _nothing I just called to say I love you

_Sean:_ why in the world would you do something like that? Emma! I'm working; you know that!

_Emma: _Well excuse me for calling to say something as horrendously unimportant as-

_Sean: _Emma?

Emma pauses waiting for him to say whatever

_Sean:_ I was kidding. I love you too.

_Emma_(smiling): I love you too Sean

_Sean:_ I love you too

_Emma:_ I love you too

_Sean:_ I love you too

_Emma:_ I love you too

_Sean:_I love y-ow! No, yes sir Mr. Harris! Here I come! Em, I gotta go!

_Emma: _Ok Sean, see you later on…

_Sean: _Right. Oh and Emma?

_Emma:_ Yeah…?

_Sean:_ I love you too…

Hangs up.

_It's the little things (It's the little things) _

_And the joy they bring. _

_It's the little things _

_It's the little things (it's the little things) _

_And the joy they bring_

_**Visiting Jay**_

**Emma: **

"Are you sure you're ready?" I ask Sean. He never came to see Jay before. He was always either at work,

or "busy" but...I know he just doesn't wanna see Jay like this.

I straighten up his collared t-shirt.

The only one he owns that I bought him earlier this week.

He murmurs something along the line of "Alright, already!" and I pull my hand away from his neck, before leaning up and kissing it. That drives him _car-razy_ when's he's annoyed.

**Sean:**

She always does this, and I always smile. Sometimes, I really can't stand her. "Be good." she says patting my cheek playfully and turning around to head down the hospital stairs. I stare after her...wishing she wouldn't leave.

**Emma:**

Sean told me he's been a little...- "sick" was the word he used-of hospitals since the shooting.

But he really means nervous around blood, and I glance back at him; he looks so scared.

I rush back over to his side "Sean, I thought you'd want time alone with Jay." I say touching his face in an unattractively matron way and then saying, "But, I _can_ stay with you...if you need m-…" "I'll be fine." Sean says stiffening, and I know he's locked me out. There's never any use talking to Sean when he says this, because no matter what you do he'll continue to repeat the same monotone words until you drop the subject.

**Sean:**

I smile halfheartedly as Emma drops the subject says "Ok, I'll be waiting in the lobby whenever you're ready." and walks off down the steps. I take a deep breath feeling a little..weird. Then I shake it off. _It's just a hospital, idiot, _and push the door to Jay's room open stepping inside and breathing heavily.

"Sean!" Jay says trying to sit up and then groaning in pain. I whence a little. I can take Jay having broken ribs-it's not that traumatizing-it's just...Hospitals they's so full of sickness-Sickness reminds me of death-...Death reminds me of Rick.

I try to avoid the thought of the guy as much as possible.

"So, I see you still got your little blonde headed sweetie chasing you around, hanging onto your every word…" Jay says leaning back into his pillow, arms crossed behind his head. I just stare at Jay. I don't know what it is but the longer I go without seeing him, the less I want to when I do.

"Jay? the "blonde-head' has a name. Try using it sometime."

"Whoa buddy!" Jay says puttiing his hands out, defensively. "Calm down, man. Just joking." Instead of replying, I just stare at the card on his windowsill. Emma told me she bought it to give to him the other day. Wanted me to come with her, but I... couldn't. I notice that it's signed Sean and Emma and smile at the way she signed our names together.

"Man, are you listening!" Jay says as I turn toward him. "To what?" Jay rolls his eyes and says "Man, pay attention, alright?" He gets this weird look in his eye. The look he always usta get when he was about to suggest something...dumb…

"No!" I say before he can say anything.

He looks at me confused, "I thought you didn't even hear what I said?" "I didn't and I don't wanna because I'm _not_ doing it." "Sean, come on man. I'm stuck in this bed. I just need to make a few deliveries for my guy Je-" "Jay! I'm not doing any of that stuff anymore alright! I'm done with it. So whatever it is, just drop it, Alright?." I say firmly, walking over to the side of his bed and sitting unmoved in the chair.

Jay's shaking his head and says "Look, Rico already got the stuff I just need y-" "No, Jay!" I shout getting angrier. God! The guy is in a hospital bed and all he can think about is more stupid scams! "Jay? You're already going to jail in a few days. What are you trying to do? take me with you!" Jay laughs as though this is really funny and I just stare at him.

"Man, was I wrong! Looks to me like _blondie's_ the one who's got _you_ whipped!" "Forget this!" I say and stand up walking towards the door "Sean wait!" "Naw man, I'll see you later." I say closing the door behind me.

"Or sooner!" Jay shouts as I walk away from the door.

**Emma:**

Sean is walking towards me looking frazzled.

I stand up hoping everything's ok

"Are you alright Sean…?"

"I'm fine. Let's go." he says grabbing my arm and pulling me quickly behind him.

Once we get in the car he sits there for a moment just staring ahead of him.

I'm a little worried. He seems so... _distant_ today.

Ever since we've been back together we've both been distant every now and then, but Sean...? Even a little more than me.

He's gripping the steering wheel tightly as if it'll move if he lets go and just stares angrily ahead of him.

"Sean…do you want me to drive…?"

"Huh? Oh, no. I'm fine Em,"

"How was Jay?" I ask curiously. I know that hospitals bug Sean out, but I've never seen him this messed up about them..

Sean stares at me now, his eyes seeming to darken just a little as I finish speaking.

"He was…He was Jay."

He says shaking his head a little and turning the car key.

"Sean? He'll be alright, ok? He'll be fine it's just a few days…"

Sean looks at me now shaking his head softly "Em, I'm not worried about that."

I stare at him now and as I speak, I hope he'll answer me.

"Then…what are you worried about?"

"Us." Sean states with a strange look in his eye; a look I know recognize as his how-are-we-gonna-screw-up-this-time look.

I lean over and hug his neck.

Pulling his face into my shoulder and not letting him pull away.

"Don't." I whisper in his ear.

**Sean:**

Letting go of me, she sits back and stares at me with a concerned expression

"Ok?" she says swiping my shoulder with her hand.

I smile. She's so beautiful. "Ok." I say gripping her hand tightly in mine.

I know that there's too much to keep us together but somehow, I can't help but feel as though we're going to fall apart. Namely, because of me. When Jay got that look in his eye? I could feel it coming on…that part of me that always says "What the hell!" and does dumb shit, forcing myself to believe I won't do any better. But I can't this time…

**Emma:**

Even though I love him so much, I just know Sean thinks something crazy is going to happen to break us apart...but it can't. I won't let it.

**Emma/Sean:**

Hopefully, I won't…there's too much at risk…

_It's the little things (It's the little things) _

_And the joy they bring. _

_It's the little things _

_It's the little things (it's the little things) _

_And the joy they bring_


	4. An Impossible Dinner Party

**Author's note: **

Alright everyone I know the last one was cute-fluff, I think they call it-but this is back to the drama just so you know!

I hope you love it and R & R!

Check out my profile and my others stories and my forum guys!

I need Ficlove!

**Jazzy-Raveler! **

**Disclaimer: Degrassi isn't mine and neither is the song "Impossible" it's Christina Aguilera's… **

**Chapter 4-An Impossible Dinner Party **

**Sean: **

Emma got this crazy idea that since we're back together and I have an apartment

we have to have a dinner party...

I'd forgotten all about it

until...

"Sean! It's November 5th! Oh my God!..We have got to go shopping!"

She yelled into my face shaking me awake this morning.

After attempting suicide, by stuffing my face into the pillow

she finally managed to pull me out of bed

forcing me into the car to drive her to the store...

Now we're driving along to the store...

She's counting off everything on the list.

She always tell me what to get

and I always "forget" and then she has to drag me around and say

"See Sean? This is the aisle the salad is on...blah blah blah..."

While I just hang onto the back of her, making it hard for her to really walk anywhere.

She never catches on…

Anyway,

When I'm not in the mood for all that I normally just snatch the list out of her hands

rip it in half, and get the stuff on my half.

I think I'll probably be ripping the paper in half today.

"Sean?" I hear Emma saying, and I wait till I sail to a smooth stop at a red light

to turn and stare at her...

"Yeah?" I say looking in her eyes.

She's got that worried look on her face

she's tryna figure out what's wrong with me...

And her eyes move all around my face as she asks uneasily

"Are you ok, Sean?"...

**Emma:**

"I'm fine," he says, just like he always says and I just turn staring straight ahead wondering why I even bothered asking.

Lately, well, ever since 2 wks ago when we got back from seeing Jay, Sean has been acting extra-weird.

Sometimes I wake up and he's sitting up in bed just...staring

Sometimes he'll just walk up to me kissing me all crazily

like a wild animal.

I'm really worried about him,

but the mood swings are starting to get on my nerves...

_It's impossible_

_It's impossible to love you_

_If you don't let me know _

_What you're feeling,_

_**Scene: Sean and Emma's car pulling into "Grocery Mart" **_

**Sean:**

Pulling into a parking space I turn toward Emma, waiting for her to tell me whatever it is she's going to tell me to do...

She's looking a little sad and I feel a little pain in my chest.

I know I've been acting a little too stressed out lately

but Jay...

What he said about the drugs...

And what I felt-that excitement, that part of me that just burns to try something stupid-scared me shitless.

I'm just trying to be careful around her.

I know that if I mess up this time

I won't get a 2nd-4rth chance

And I can't deal with that thought.

"Emma," I say steadily...

"We're here."

"I can see that, Sean." she says with a sigh,

and pulls a long list out of her bag.

She looks so worried about everything.

I guess this dinner is really freaking her out.

I guess _I'm_ really freaking her out…

I want her to know I love her.

Even though I can't always say it

And I want to be reminded why I'm not going to do anything to lose her,

So, I say "Emma," she turns and looks at me and I lean over kissing her

her lips feel warm and soft, and safe.

They feel like this is what I was meant to be here, for ya know?

Her,

And I'm not willing to risk that for...anything

Then Emma jerks away from me, slapping my hand away from her face,

"Sean! Stop it!" she yells at me with an irritated look

_It's impossible _

_For me to give you what you need, _

_If you're always hiding from me, _

**Emma:**

There he goes again!

Grabbing me and shoving his tongue down my throat

like it's just the thrill of my life.

Well it's not!

What the hell is wrong with him?

"Em-ma!" he says, that same annoying way he always does when he's upset with me.

"Don't "Em-ma" me Sean! I'm not some chew toy, for you to just like treat like garbage until you feel like shoving your tongue down my throat again!"

Sean is staring at me angrily and I match his stare.

One thing Sean Cameron seems to hate is that he never scares me

Maybe he likes people being afraid of him…but I never am.

I can't be.

I know what Sean is really like...

What he's really really like

And this isn't it

I love Sean.

I really do, but sometimes...

Sometimes he deals with things that I don't know how to handle.

and he won't let me help him.

So ,it's hard to feel sorry for him

when he refuses to tell me what I'm supposed to be feeling sorry for.

_I don't know what hurt you _

_I just, I wanna make it right _

_'Cause boy I'm sick and tired _

_Of trying to read your mind _

**Sean:**

I don't even say anything to her

Just get out of the car and slam the door shut

It shouldn't be so _**freaking**_ hard to just...

Just be in love or whatever the hell this is supposed to be,

But I always feel like

Like I'm just an accident waiting to happen,

And Emma treating me like I'm just like everyone else,

When we both know I'm not?

Just makes it harder for me to stand.

She gets out the car staring at me from across the top.

"What!" I snap at her and she just shakes her head

"Sean, you really need to chill." she says as she turns and walks towards the store

She's to busy being mad to notice me banging my fist on the car angrily.

She's just too much for me to take sometimes.

She's just too...I don't know

But it's getting harder and harder to pretend that I can live without her

And that alone is making me mad right about now.

I skulk angrily towards the front door of the store

Looking around for Emma,

and hoping to find my sanity too.

_'Cause it's impossible _

_Oh baby it's impossible _

_For me to love you, this way _

_It's impossible _

_Oh baby it's impossible _

_If you making it this way _

**Emma: **

"Right here, Sean!" I call as he walks in looking around for me.

I'm not sure what he's going through right about now

and I'm not normally the one to try and avoid an issue,

but bugging Sean is just going to make him madder

so I decide to just ignore it, like he wants to in the first place.

I smile at him as he walks toward me.

I don't wanna make it harder on him cause I know he deals with a lot of stuff,

even if he won't tell me what.

He doesn't even look at me just stares straight ahead and walks to the

front of the cart.

I am trying to do _him_ a favor!

And as usual he's doing his same dumb Sean Cameron thing

Without really thinking about it

I ram his leg with the cart

And at the sight of him lifting his leg in pain

I smile wickedly

_Ha, Sean! _

_Impossible to make it easy _

_If you always trying _

_To make it so damn hard, _

**Sean: **

"What the heck are you doing Emma?" I ask her rubbing the back of my leg.

She just crosses her arms smiling at me for a moment

and then says, as if she didn't just practically break my leg off with the cart,

"First, you get the eggs, I'll get the..."

I decide it best not to snatch the bottom of the list and just stare at her nodding impatiently as she calls out her orders.

My eyes wander aimlessly toward some big burly guy walking past us,

No,

Up to us?...

He's coming towards us like he's about to say something and I tense up, not sure what I'd have to be worried about, but pretty sure it must be something.

"Hey, ain't you…ain't you Sean Cameron...?" the guy says-whispers really-as he bends down a little his face in my face.

His breath is rancid,

But he looks kinda…like trouble

So, I glance at Emma and she nods pushing the cart ahead and walking down some aisle.

I'm not sure what the Hell this guy wants with me but I don't want her in the middle of it.

"I'm Jay's guy, Rico. The "Middle Man"" he says laughing.

I just freeze at the sound of his words

_What the hell is this? _

_What the hell did Jay tell this guy…? _

"Look man, I don't know what you're getting at, but I don't do that shit for Jay anymore." I say calmly.

I'm getting mad

But I pretty much figure it'll be best for me not to test this guy.

He raises his fat eyebrows at me.

And says "Alright, alright kid. Jay told me you were….squeamish but don't worry just play it cool. Here, just take the stuff…"

As he's talking I can feel my hand reaching out to take it,

Whatever it is, a small package that he can slip to me,

Without anyone in the store noticing

Before I snatch my hand back saying "Naw, man. I don't do that shit anymore. Tell Jay to get another guy."

I turn, walking away

Before the guy can say anything else

But I can already feel that it's not over.

I shove my hands in pocket.

Digging my nails into my palms.

_What the Hell was I reaching for? _

_Find Emma, Find Emma… _

**Emma: **

"Sean...Is everything ok?"

"Everything's fine Emma."

"Who was that guy..."

"I said everything is fine, ok?" Sean says staring at me, his eyes so full that I almost tear up myself, even though I'd have no idea why we were crying...

I lean in to him hug and he just pushes me back...

"We've got a lot to do." he says taking the list out of my hands and pushing the cart towards the wrong aisles.

I just stare after him.

I have no idea what is going on with Sean.

and I want to be there for him, but...he just won't let me.

_How can I_

_How can I give you all my love, baby, _

_If you're always Always putting up your guard, _

_**Scene: Emma and Sean walking into the door of Sean's apartment **_

**Sean: **

The store was a total bust.

Emma walked around mad the rest of the day,

Angry that I wouldn't tell her what was going on

But she doesn't even freaking wanna know!

As I walk in I set the bags on the counter

And she starts digging around in some of them.

She glances at me barely, still pouting.

_Why can't she just let this go? _

I wonder,

I don't know how to tell her what's wrong,

Cuz somehow I have a feeling she won't believe me

I mean how screwed up can a guy's life really be…

Before you start to blame him?

She pulls her hair into a ponytail

Making her face look tighter than it already did

And reaches out her hand towards me

I smile,

I take her hand in mine and kiss it softly…

I'll be alright.

I'm sure.

Suddenly, she snatches her hand away looking at me anxiously

"The _phone_, Sean. I said hand me the phone."

I stare down in front of me and see the phone,

What the Hell is wrong with her?

She's always acting like I'm the one

But this is what she does when I try and make up with her?

_God Damn it! _

I pick up the phone and toss it at her.

And walk into my room flopping on my bed

No idea what she's about to come in here and say

But right now?

I couldn't care less…

_This is not a circus _

_So don't play me for a clown_

**Emma: **

What is the matter with him?

He's always acting like everything is my fault

Whenever I try to get close to him

He holds me back

But then he'll turn right around and kiss me

Or kiss my outstretched hand…

And act like I'm supposed to be just fine with that?

Uh, uh!

Instead of following after him,

To start an endless argument,

I just pick up the phone dialing Manny's number.

She's supposed to be helping me cook for tonight,

Her, my mom, and Liberty Van Zandt.

After I call them

I stare at Sean's room

All I see is that his feet are hanging miserably over the bed

And I don't really want him to be in such a bad mood

So, I walk over to the door

Leaning against it and saying

"Sean, I'm sorry ok? It's just that…

Well I don't know what the heck is going on with you.

One minute you're stomping around mad, or looking confused or something.

And the next you're kissing me, or yanking me up hugging me and I just don't how to take it Sean."

He rolls over staring up at me…

"I'm sorry too, Em."

He says his eyes, rushing up quickly to the ceiling.

"I'm really sorry."

He says and I can't tell if he's been crying or if he's _about_ to cry

But I walk over and lay down next to him.

Laying my head on his heartbeat…

I wonder if he's scared,

Or sad…

Or lonely

But I don't know

And even as I lay here

I'm pretty sure that whatever is wrong

Is going to hurt us both.

_How long can emotions _

_Keep on going up and down? _

**Sean: **

I don't wanna lose her

I don't…

She's so amazing

To even put up with me

Not to mention love me

And I hold her for just a moment

Afraid that it might be the last time

Thanks to some dumb mistake or other

My fingers trembling when I remember that they'd reach out to take that…

Package

And wash the last 4 months down the toilet.

"I love you, Emma,"

I say softly, and she looks up at me

Kissing my cheek

"I love you, too." She says.

After a little while longer

She gets up pulling me up too

"We've gotta get ready Sean."

She says and I remember the dinner thing…

"Oh yeah." I say, sitting up miserably

Not that I mind helping her,

I don't…

Besides, I don't feel like having a "dinner party".

Then, I remember that she said I won't have to help too much,

And smile saying…

"Is Manny still supposed to be coming over to…"

"Emma! I'm here and so's Liberty and we brought Toby and your mom's coming by in a little-oh…"

Manny Santos-Emma's best friend-says as she walks up to my bedroom door,

Loaded down with pans-which I don't have to many of, except the ones Emma already brought over-

She blushes a little, at least I think, it's kinda hard to tell under all that make-up.

"…I'm s-sorry guys, I didn't mean to…"

She stammers and I realize that she thinks me and Emma are-or I guess, _were _doing something.

Before I can say anything Emma says "Manny! We were just about to go in the kitchen. We were just discussing…" she looks at me questioningly…

"Yeah, discussing…" I say, not sure why she's looking at me like _I _can come up with an excuse

"What Sean is going to wear!" she says smiling at me like she's some genius to think that up.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing…?" I ask her and she turns glaring at me

And nodding towards Manny…

Like I really care if Manny thought we were…doing something

But I shrug anyway.

And just stand up wrapping my arms around Emma's waist and walking with her to the kitchen.

Manny just stares at us smiling, "Yeah Emma, I think he looks…fine."

**Emma: **

Glad that that awkwardness is over, I push Sean off of me.

"Here. You do this." I say handing him the invite list..

He just looks at my hand

Like it's the plague

"Didn't you already…?"

"Yes Sean, I did. But you have to double-check and make sure everyone can come…"

Sean stares at me blankly for a moment then leans over and kisses me,

Not all crazily,

Just softly on the lips

And I smile at him

As he leans back

"Now, go!" I say waving him off and he walks over taking the phone off the counter.

"Hey, yeah, uh Craig? What's up man? It's Sean…" he says, heading into the other room.

I turn around and notice Manny and Liberty _and_ Toby all staring at me

"What!"

"'What?' You guys are sooooo cute!" Manny says with a laugh and that dreamy romantic look she always gets.

"I agree," Liberty says nodding and looking at me a with a silly smile-as silly as Liberty's smiles ever get, anyway-

"You 2 are like…Like 2 peas in an macrobiotic pod." She says with a nod.

And we all look at her. "What? They are!"

I shake my head wondering if they'll ever realize

How hard it is for me to keep Sean.

When I glance back up I notice that Toby is still staring at me…"What?" I ask looking at him anxiously

"Man have you got it bad!" he says with a laugh.

"Shut up Toby!" I say, trying to figure out why they brought him over here anyway.

"You guys, came to help right? So…help!" and then they all scatter around the kitchen.

Toby opening unidentified packages,

Liberty counting off ingredients for some weird dressing she claims her grandmother makes,

Manny chopping up onions and I shake my head

_What did I get myself into …?_

_**Scene: That Evening at Sean's apartment, still **_

**Sean: **

"Sean! Are you dressed? It's 7 and the people are starting to show up!" she says busting into my room.

I'm dressed.

I been dressed, just sitting on my bed in this dumb button-up shirt that she got me

Black jeans though.

And I look at her about to say so…but she stops me with that dress she's wearing.

It's black and it's long and it has some little things on the side,

That make it shine a little

Her hair is up and she looks so…beautiful.

She smiles at me twirling around.

"You like it?" she says walking over to me and standing in front of me.

"It's…great!" I say, clearing my throat a little.

"When did you get it…?"

"I went shopping with Manny the other day…

"She was kinda losing it because I haven't been spending a lot of time with her lately so…"

I nod at her not really listening

Just eyeing her carefully.

She's so beautiful…I can't explain.

_What did I ever do to deserve her? _

"Sean, come on." She says pulling me up and then yanking me towards the door.

"Now, remember, this isn't a house-warming.

We're not living together.

It's just a dinner party so don't be too nervous."

She says although from the way her fingers are trembling on mine,

I can tell that she's really talking to herself.

**Emma: **

Everyone in the _world_ came…

Alex-covering for Jay,

Darcy and all the other girls from the spirit squad,

Danny-Liberty's annoying little brother-and JT.

My mom and dad, and Jack.

Even Ellie came. She and Sean are on pretty good terms so that's not too surprising though…

Peter is a no-show,

Which is fine since we don't really talk anymore,-

Kinda what happens when you dump your boyfriend for another guy.

Then there's Ashley and Jimmy

And Hazel and Craig-he's in for the weekend to see Manny,

And Joey and…everybody!

Everyone walks around just talking

"So, how long have you guys been living together…?" Darcy says popping a weird looking…thing in her mouth."

And I look over and see that JT is walking around handing with a platter, like he's a busboy or something.

"We're not, really… we just sort of…Well, I come over a lot."

I say smiling and taking a sip of my sparkling water.

I don't have time for anyone getting drunk

So it's the closest I'm going to come to wine for now.

Darcy nods at me but nudges the blonde girl standing next to her

And they both walk off laughing.

Sometimes I really hate Degrassi girls.

"The music is great!"

Jimmy says to me as he and Ashley and are twirling around on the floor.

"So's the food Emma!" Ashley calls out with a smile.

"Great job!" "Thanks" I say with a smile and then think, looking around

_I couldn't have done it without… _

_Where is Sean anyway? _

I haven't seen him since he was by the table talking to Jimmy…

I look around for him a little while and then walk over to Manny, who's dancing crazily all over Craig.

"Manny? Have you seen Sean?" I ask her, the music's not too loud so I don't have to shout.

"Uh, Sean? Yeah, he went…tttthat way…" she says pointing her finger behind her laughing…as Craig dips her down.

I just shake my head at them,

And walk off to find Sean…

I know he's not too into the whole "dinner" party thing

But I hope he's doing ok.

**Sean: **

I pretty much just stay back from the crowd.

I talked to Jimmy for a while…

And Craig

But they both walked off with their girlfriends

So I lean against the wall staring at the clock.

I've never liked these things.

There so…uncomfortable.

It's not like I have anything to talk about with these people.

None of em

Except Emma,

And she's busy hosting.

So, I just walk over to the drinks

Swiping a soda off the counter and heading for the door.

I'm just planning on stepping outside to get some air.

But as soon as I close the door…

I turn around and see that guy, Rico.

He's standing there leaning against the wall like he was waiting for me.

"Hey man! What took you so long?" he says pushing off the wall and stepping towards me.

I knew something crazy was going to happen

"What are you _doing_ here?" I ask him, my voice shaking not from fear of him

But, because he's about to ruin my entire night.

And life…

"I came to drop off the stuff." He says, digging is his jacket pocket,

"Look, man, I already told you; I don't want any "stuff"" I say backing up to the door about to open it.

"Now, just get out of…"

And I feel the door swing open and I turn around slowly

Already knowing, before I even see her,

That it's Emma who I'll be facing…

"Emma!" I say quickly and Rico stuffs the package in his jacket

"It's not what it-"

"Yeah, Sean." She says shaking her head at me

"Not "what it looks like", right? Why am I not surprised?"

I walk over to her trying to grab her hand.

"Emma, just listen, ok-"

"No, Sean, you listen!"

Emma yells at me, as she backs up bumping into JT,

And the music stops and everyone turns around staring at me,

Staring at her,

Without a hint of trust in her eyes.

I feel my heart rising up in my throat

And I ready myself for whatever.

_It's impossible _

_Oh baby it's impossible _

_For me to love you, this way _

_It's impossible _

_Oh baby it's impossible _

**Emma: **

How could he do this?

I should've known that this would happen.

He lies to me,

Telling me he doesn't know who this guy is.

Then, he brings him over to the house,

In the middle of our party,

To get drugs from him!

"Drugs, Sean! Just like you _promised me_ you weren't dealing? And right here, right now, in front of everyone!"

He just stands there staring at me as if _I_ did something wrong

"Emma," he says calmly

"You don't understand-"

"Oh no, Sean. I understand, I finally understand and I finally get it, why you keep doing this to me…"

"It's because…

I keep letting you."

I say, crying as I finish speaking,

"But no more Sean Cameron. This is it. I'm done."

And I turn walking through the blurred crowd, that I assume is our friends…

_Impossible to love you_

_If you keep treating me this way (Over) over, _

_(and over) over _

**Sean: **

Here it is.

What I knew would happen.

Some dumb guy in a windbreaker,

Can just come and in one minute

Take away everything I've been trying so hard to earn.

This is what I was afraid of.

This is why I wouldn't tell her

Because I knew that she'd just think…whatever.

She's walking away from me

Pushing through the crowd and probably trying to get as far away from me as possible

But I can't let her.

I feel weaker than I thought I would

And I stumble a little,

But then stand up rushing through the people after her.

"Emma! Don't _do_ this!" I say grabbing her hand.

"Get _off_ of me Sean!" she says snatching away from me and I just fall on the ground.

Grabbing onto her waist.

"_Don't_ Emma! I _need_ you…" I say, tears forcing their way through my closed eyelids.

Not giving a damn who's watching,

Realizing that there's nothing else to care about.

"Sean," Emma says as she turns towards me

"Let go of me!"

"No! Not until you listen…"

I say, hugging her waist tightly as she tries to pull away from me.

"Sean, I _have_ listened and I'm through. So get off of.-"

I feel someone grabbing at my shoulder and saying

"Let her go, Sean."

I can't stand this!

What the Hell is going on?

I turn around, letting go of Emma and punching him square in the face.

It's Mr. Simpson, and I stare at him shaking my head nervously…"Mr. Simpson! Are you alright…?" he just shakes his head at me, holding his face and stands up looking at his wife.

"Come on, Spike. I think we'd better go…"

I didn't mean to hit him, I just, I was too caught up worrying about Emma.

Emma!

I turn towards her and she's shaking her head, tears streaming down her face.

"Emma? I'm sorry just-just listen…" I say standing up and walking towards her as she backs away from me, finally rushing into the bedroom before closing the door in my face.

I turn around and slowly everyone is leaving…

Moving around and shuffling to get out the door…

I don't say anything,

I don't wipe the tears or anything…

I just watch them go.

Not really looking at them

Just waiting for the door to close.

When it does I slide down against the bedroom door that's inbetween me and Emma

My head in my hands,

Shaking and wondering

_What the Hell am I gonna do now…?_

_Impossible to love you _

_baby _

_Ohh if you making it this way _

_This way _

_Oh baby it's impossible If you making it this way_


	5. Officially Broken Up

**Chapter 5-Officially Broken Up **

**_Scene: The day after the party-Monday- Emma is in her room all alone, the lights out. _**

**Emma: **

I'm laying in my bed,

Tears nuzzling at my cheek as I listen to the rain and wonder what he's up to…

_All I hear is raindrops  
Falling on the rooftop_

**_Scene: Sean's apartment (He's all alone too, his lights are on in certain rooms throughout the house. He's not really paying attention to them, though.) _**

**Sean: **

She's gone and everything I'd been doing

Seems like a waste of time now.

But still

I force myself out of bed and walk into the living room picking up the phone.

"Mr. Harris," I say, not having to fake a tired voice

Because my voice is already low, tired, and sickly

"Yeah, I'm gonna need the day off…"

I say, nodding and rubbing my throat a little.

"Ok. Thanks Mr. Harris…"

I know that I can't just up and quit;

I won't have any money.

But part of me is just saying

_What's the point?_

And I sink into the couch

Feeling worse than I thought I ever could.

I wish that Emma had let me explain

But she just stormed out

Not even looking back at me

And now?

Now I'm just waiting for it to begin;

The downward spiral that I always end up in without her.

_Oh baby tell me why'd you have to go  
Cause this pain I feel  
It wont go away  
And today I'm officially missing you _

**Emma:**

My parents didn't even ask if I was going to school today

I guess they just knew.

I wish I'd just known.

I have no idea what I was thinking getting back with Sean to begin with…

It all seems so pointless now.

And I wish that I hadn't let him in again.

I wish I hadn't let him hurt me.

But I did

And now

Here I am

Heartbroken over Sean, once again.

_I thought that from this heartache  
I could escape_

**Sean:**

I could always pretend that I didn't care

That I wasn't "emotionally involved" or whatever,

With everyone else

But with Emma?

It was impossible not to be.

It was kinda pointless to pretend that she meant nothing

When just looking in her eyes

Reduced me to being a blubbering idiot.

_Not this time_,

I think determined not to let this tear me down

To nothing

But even as I think it…

I know it won't work

Never has.

And a tear slides down my cheek as though confirming this…

_But I fronted long enough to know  
There ain't no way  
And today  
I'm officially missing you  
_  
**Emma:**

_Maybe I'll just go back to Peter,_

_Or some other new guy_

_Get my mind off of Sean completely…_

I think, as I sit up rubbing the tears from my eyes.

Peter…he was so good to me…

Why did I leave him for Sean?

At this moment I try to convince myself that this thought makes sense,

But my mind is screaming the obvious answer that I don't want to hear,

_You **love** Sean…_

And I sigh a little,

Realizing that dating some other guy for a quick fix isn't going to help this time.

This pain is going to have to be felt,

Just something I'll have to deal with,

Like every other memory of Sean that seems to be flooding my mind…

_Oh can't nobody do it like you  
Said every little thing you do  
Hey baby say it stays on my mind  
And I, I'm officially…_

**Sean:**

The day is shaping up to be pretty crappy…

First, I woke up feeling like crap after

everything that happened last night.

Then I just laid there,

Replaying the last 2 weeks over and over in my mind

And trying to figure what I could've differently

To avoid all this mess.

And now…?

Now I look over and see a picture of Emma…

Staring back at me

Her eyes so full of happiness and love

And I can feel myself shaking a little

As the tears start up.

_Shit! _

_All I do is lay around  
Two ears full tears  
From looking at your face on the wall _

**Emma:**

Sean,

Sean,

Sean,

That's all I can think about

And each time I think about his name

It's hurts more.

I hate him so much!

But I still wonder what he's doing…

Even though I _hate_ him!

I wonder if he misses me…

_Just a week ago you were my baby  
Now I don't even know you at all  
I don't know you at all _

**Sean:**

I open the freezer/fridge

Looking for some kind of…something

To take my mind off of her.

But everything in here reminds me of her

_Salad; she's a vegetarian_

_Chocolate milk; she'd bring me a bottle of it every Wednesday cuz she knows I love it_

_Mashed potatoes; from last nights dinner party…_

_Ice cream; because she would eat it-this kind rocky or chunky something-whenever she watched dumb soap operas._

I don't even bother to try and get anything and just slam the door closed.

If Emma had just listened to me…

If she would just let me explain…

Maybe I wouldn't be slumping down into the couch

Clicking on the Tv…

Blasting the radio…

Trying to get my mind off of her…

When all I can seem to do, is stare at the phone

Hoping she'll call…

_Well I wish that you would call me right now  
So that I could get through to you somehow  
But I guess it's safe to say baby safe to say  
That I'm officially missing you_

Even though I'm angry at Emma for not listening

I'm getting madder and madder at myself

For not just telling her what was going on…

Why it hurts to talk to her,

To look at her sometimes,

And why I just can't seem to let her go;

Let her move on to someone who won't screw everything up

And hurt her over and over again.

Someone who _deserves_ her.

But even though I can see her with someone else…

I can't picture myself with anyone but her.

_Oh can't nobody do it like you  
Said every little thing you do  
Hey baby say it stays on my mind  
And I, I'm officially… _

**Emma: **

It's so strange

That I'm always the one who breaks with Sean,

Well, except maybe once,

And still I just can't seem to stop regretting it.

From the moment I stepped out his door

All I could think about,

All I wanted to think about,

Was Sean.

And I think that frustrates me more than any of the dumb stuff he does.

It's kinda like he knows that I can't seem to get over him

So he figures he can just keep the bullshit coming.

_Well I thought I could just get over you baby  
But I see that's something I just can't do  
From the way you would hold me  
To the sweet things you told me  
I just can't find a way  
To let go of you_

Oh well,

It looks like this time won't be any different.

It's not like I haven't been heartbroken before but I'm just…

Well this time I'm just too tired to try.

I've tried telling Sean

That he's worth something.

That he's better than drinking, and stealing and fighting and…

Drug dealing.

But whatever head games he always trips himself up with

He can never seem to get it.

I mean God! Why do I have to try so hard just to be with him!

All I want is to need him and _not_ feel bad about it.

To have him in my arms and not have to feel like, like

I can trust that he'll know that that's all I want.

Nothing else.

I'm not sure that he ever will…

_It official  
You know that I'm missing you _

**Sean: **

I wish Emma would just…I don't even know.

I just wanna forget about her, but I can't

Jay's in jail he can't come hang,

He was my best friend.

Well, Emma was my best friend

My baby,

She always is.

I don't know how the Hell I kept screwing up

But it's too late now…

Now she's gone and I doubt she's not coming back this time…

_Yeah yes  
All I hear is raindrops_

**_Scene: (Sean laying on his couch... _**

**_Emma laying on her bed)..._**

**__**

**__**Sean/Emma:

_But, I guess I can always hope..._

They both think and. A Tear slides slowly down both their cheeks

_And I'm officially missing you. _

**_What do you think? Well let me know and the next chapters will be up soon! _**

****

**_Jazzy-Raveler! _**


	6. Eyes Wide Shut

**Author's Note:**

Okay here they are! the last 3 chapters! I hope everyone loves em...review!

_**Jazzy-Raveler!**_

_P.s **Solaris**_ one line is based off your review! Hope you notice it!

Love ya!

**Chapter 6-Eyes Wide Shut**

**Emma: **

Two weeks after the break-up

and the first time I see Sean is at the store

I can't tell if he's looking at me

Or just staring in my direction

Um...

Yeah, he's definitely looking at me

I don't think he'd be burning holes into the Broccoli behind me...

It's so strange how in only two weeks

We can be so...apart

I mean, I still love him,

But now? even just the look he's giving me…?

It is so crazy to think that just 2 weeks ago

I was laying beside him

Holding him

Knowing that we'd be together forever...

Kinda funny how a break-up really does break you up huh?

Actually, it's not funny at all.

_**You used to be my closest ally  
In this cold, cold world of deception and lies**_

**Sean: **

There she is...

Just as beautiful

Just as amazing as always...

_I can't believe she was mine..._

I think,

And I can feel my face getting hot.

Just the thought about how we got screwed up this time?

It's enough to make me sick...

It's a good thing Jay is in jail now

Cuz otherwise,

Man, I don't know what I'd do to the guy...

Emma is looking at me now,

She looks so hurt

I wish I could just go over and tell her that I still love her.

Beg her to take me back.

But that's not exactly something I'd…well, it's not like it'll work anyway.

And 'sides that, Emma is the one who broke up with me anyway...

She should be the one apologizing.

If she would just listen to me for once, instead of always just thinking she knows what's going on.

Anyway, you'd think that putting your life on the line for a girl would be enough...

I'd do anything for her...

She knows that,

I usta think she'd do anything for me too...

_**We would defend and protect one another**_

But I guess anything isn't enough for Emma Nelson.

If its not perfect, even love isn't enough.

But still I wonder, as I look over into her eyes

_This can't really be it, can it?_

_**Now I can't tell if we are enemies or lovers**_

**Emma: **

Yeah, Sean Cameron is standing just a few feet away from me

And we can't take our eyes off of one another.

But it's not because we're in love

It's because he broke my heart

And maybe I broke his

But what does that matter now?

Does it?

After all those days…weeks…months

Years if you count before

We're still here

All over again

And I don't think either of us has what it takes to do it over again

_**So who's gonna rescue us from ourselves  
When are we gonna wake up  
Baby, it's time for loving  
When are we gonna wake up  
My baby, before it's too late **_

**Sean: **

Naturally, she's in the produce aisle

So there's no way I could just happen to be over there

Buying that crap

Which is cool cuz I don't wanna go over there anyway,

She's staring at me nastily now.

Like she's the one who has the right to glare

Whatever, I think

And I turn my back to her so she knows it too

But I can't help feeling evil

Like a dog,

When Emma Nelson is the only girl I love

How did we come to this…?

_**Oh baby  
Where did we go wrong, baby  
Did this cold, cold world turn us in a stone **_

**Emma: **

Classic Sean Cameron!

Real mature.

He turns his back on me like I really care

See? That's why we _never_ could work out.

He such a jerk.

His pride always overrides his sweet Sean side

And I'm so sick of having to deal with it

_**Now all I battle  
Is your ego and your pride **_

Well I don't anymore

I think as I turn around rustling angrily through the broccoli

God! Even when I'm not dating him Sean makes me sick!

**Sean: **

She's rustling through through that broccoli bin like a maniac

I guess she's supposed to be so angry at seeing me

That she can't stand it.

Whatever!

Sometimes Emma makes me so sick.

**_We're ticking like a time bombReady to ignite_**

**Sean: **

But it still hurts that I'm the one who made her so angry…

**Emma:**

I wonder what he's thinking of me…

It hurts to think of it so I don't.

But it still hurts…

**_Hurtin' me to fight _**

_**So who's gonna rescue us from ourselves **_

_  
_**Sean: **

I wish she'd just come over here…I'd tell her I'm sorry.

_**When are we gonna wake up  
Baby, it's time for loving **_

_  
_**Emma: **

Even if I was going to

Sean would never listen to me if I went other there and tried to talk to him

So what's the point? In thinking of it…?

_**When are we gonna wake up  
My baby, before it's too late**_

**Sean: **

I guess it's just a waste of time

But still, everytime we break up

After the fight,

And the stupid crap

I always wonder

_What if we'd still been together? _

Like right now,

What would she be saying to me?

What would I say back to her…?

I turn and look at her,

Not sure but knowing that I'd probably feel a lot better

Then I do right now…

**_When the smoke clears_  
_What will be left for us but tears and pain?_**

**Emma: **

Sean is looking at me again, I can feel him.

I don't turn around, my makeup is probably runny.

I love him so much

How come he has to be so bad for me?

I know that he's stupid to do things like he always does

But still, still even once I go over everything that a good boyfriend wouldn't do in my mind?

I still love him

And I still want him

And it hurts to have to keep doing this

This Make-up/Breakup/Makeup/Breakup thing like we're just stuck…

_**Why must we argue over the same things  
Just to make up go back again **_

**Sean: **

She's tapping the side of the stand or whatever

She won't turn around

I wish she'd just look at me.

If she did maybe she could tell what I'm feeling

And I wouldn't have to say anything

She'd just know and smile at me

And I could rush over and hug her

And we'd be back together again.

_Turn around! _

I think,

_Turn around! _

_**It's never too late**_

**Emma: **

No.

No more I'm so tired of this

I think and I wipe my eyes-

Over the broccoli which is really disgusting

But I don't really have a choice-

Turning back around to my cart.

I love Sean Cameron

But I don't want him

I don't want to go through this again

It's already been six years

And if Sean doesn't love me enough to realize that I'm worth more than drugs or whatever the heck else

I guess he doesn't want me either…

**_But it's been too long _**

**Sean: **

She turned around back to her cart

But she still won't look at me

She still won't even act like she ever knew me.

I shrug it off.

I don't really care

I think

"I don't care," I mumble

But it doesn't work cuz I still do…

I just pick up the orange juice that I was supposed to getting in the first place

Turning away from her.

I feel bad, but it's not like it's my fault

She broke up with you

I tell myself

She's the one who would have to make to make the first move,

If you even cared

**Emma: **

Sean is trying to figure out which kind of orange juice to get

He always gets the kind with pulp and then I always have to drag him back over there

And tell him to get the kind that says "Pulp-free"

Then he does this stupid wide-eyed look and goes "when did they start making that kind?"

He is such a dumb boyfriend

Ex-boyfriend.

I look at him now

I can feel a smile on my face but I quickly remove it

Wouldn't want him to get the wrong idea

He might go all psycho…

Thinking that I still want him

I feel so bad about us,

Even though I'm through for good

But it's not like it's my fault

I wasn't the one dealing drugs

I wasn't the one who lied.

If anyone should feel bad it's Sean.

But I still do….

_**Can't get it right when no one thinks they're wrong **_

**Sean:**

Ellie is walking towards me

She offered to come with me to shop

Which is kinda funny when you think about the fact that she's the one who needed a ride.

"Aren't you ready to go yet Sean?"

She says rolling her eyes at me looking at my pretty much empty cart

And the orange juice in my hands

"What it is this? You get pulp-free?" She asks taking it out of my hand

"Why not?" I ask shrugging

"Nothing it's just not as…pulply."

She says picking up the kind with pulp.

And setting it in the cart along with the other kind.

She laughs and then she pulls the hair out of her face staying at me with a strange look

"What's eating you Cameron? You look like you've just seen a gh-" she starts and then looks to her left seeing Emma…

"Oh," she says nodding, like this explains it all.

"The ghost of a girlfriend past."

"Shut-up, El." I say not bothering to look at Emma.

"Sean, you obviously miss her, why don't you just apologize to Mr. Simpson already?"

"I did."

"Again?"

"I did!" I say getting mad, Ellie needs to mind her own business.

"Then why don't you over there and talk to her?"

She says pushing me, but I don't move

She has no idea why… and she won't

"I don't miss her." I say

Staring at the orange juice label

"Well then, Cameron, you must really be in love with pulp-free orange juice." Ellie says poking her finger at my eye and then holding up a tear.

"God Cameron, get a clue."

_**Gotta get out of the bed  
And take a look what's going on **_

**Emma: **

Manny walks over to me smiling

She was probably on the phone with Craig

"Em, you ready?" She asks as she steps toward me but then she stops

"Oh, sweetie, what's wrong?" She says touching my shoulder.

"Nothing," I say softly but I can feel the tears stinging my cheeks and Manny sees them I'm sure.

She glances over and sees Sean standing with Ellie

"Honey, they're just friends." She says touching my shoulder comfortingly

"Huh, oh I don't-I don't care about them."

Ilie and Manny just stares at me

"Emma, please, there's no need to lie to me…I can see it in your eyes."

I just shrug feigning disinterest

I wish Sean could see whatever Manny sees.

I really do.

_**Oh when are we gonna wake up  
Baby, it's time for loving **_

**Sean: **

"Well, if you're not gonna go over there then let's go…"

Ellie says after a moment.

And I nod.

I love Emma and walking away from her

I wish I coulda just went over there…

**Emma: **

Sean's walking away.

He doesn't look at me

He just walks away

Oh well,

I think

But I break down crying…

_**When are we gonna wake up  
My baby, before it's too late**_

**Sean: **

"Sean? Are you sure you don't wanna just go back ov-": "El, I said drop it alright?" I say trudging ahead of her.

I'm too busy being mad at myself for not going over there

To pay her too much attention…

Wishing I coulda just said something…

_**Said I need you baby  
Oh I need my baby home (wake up) **_

**Emma: **

He's gone and I'm crying and Manny's comforting

And I wish I could go back just two minutes ago

And tell him what I really feel…

**_Bring my baby back to me (wake up) _**


	7. One UnSweet Day

**Author's Note: **

Ok guys this is the 2nd to last chapter!!! Hope you like it!!!

_**Jazzy-Raveler!**_

**Chapter 7-One Unsweet Day**

**Emma:**

I'm just minding my own business, walking up to my house...

When I see that the ambulance is outside!

My mom is _crying!_

And my heart races...

_What the hell happened!_

_**  
Sorry, I never told you  
All I wanted to say**_

**Sean:**

I'm home from work.

No messages,

No food,

No Emma,

My life sucks right about now.

I'm tired of just sitting around depressed so I walk out the house,

Get in my car and start driving.

Rolling down some street or another as I stop at the light,

"Sean!" I hear someone yell and I turn around to see Manny Santos racing up to me.

She looks _real_ messed up.

Like she's been..._crying?_ I guess?

_Maybe she was watching some dumb soap_, I think

And I shake my head, about to smile...

The only person I know who breaks down crying _more_ than Manny Santos, is Em-

_Emma!_ I think and glancing towards Manny...noticing how desperately she's racing to get to me

I think

_Where's **Emma**?!_

I can't even think about what might've happened

"Manny, what's wrong! Is it...is it Emma!"

I can barely stand to say the words

But I still do.

What the hell would _I_ do if something happened to her...?

Everything..._gone._

Just like that.

No chance of _ever_ seeing her again...

_**  
And now it's too late to hold you  
'Cause you've flown away**_

"It's _not _Emma Sean..."

Manny says, as she yanks open the door and slides into my car...

"It's Snake! He had a _heart _attack Sean! I need to get to the hospital pls? Hurry!"

I start driving...

And I breathe a sigh of relief that nothing happened to Emma

And then I feel real guilty for thinking that.

Mr. Simpson _is,_ you know, the closest thing I ever had to a mentor...

Or whatever.

_What would happen if he died..._

I don't know...

But I keep driving

Feeling so sorry for Emma,

Already...

**Emma:**

Oh my God!

I can't breathe...

I can't think...

What in the _world_ is happening?

"Mom!" I say, when I see my her walking towards me in the hospital lobby

"Is he going to be ok?"

Mom starts crying,

"We don't know yet honey..."

She's saying and something else too.

But I'm not listening...

My mind is somwhere else...

_**So far away**_

Thinking about Snake;

_Everything_ he means to me

My dad...

**_My_** _dad_!

The only dad I've ever had,

And I start crying thinking...

_He can't die!_

_He **can't!**_

_**Never had I imagined  
Living without your smile**_

**Sean:**

Manny practically leaps out the car and races for the hospital doors.

I get out too, but I don't know if I can go in there.

For one thing, I really hate hospitals

And just...

Just thinking that Mr. _Simpson_ is in there?

Maybe dying...?

I don't wanna deal with it and I turn around, to get back in the car

But then,

Then...?

I remember...

_Emma..._

She's in there...

Maybe crying...

Most _definitely_ crying...

And I know that I _have_ to see her...tell her it'll be ok...try and stop her from thinking some of the crazilt bad things that I just know she's thinking.

Suddenly, pretending that I don't care about her?

It doesn't even matter,

And I walk towards the hospital doors taking a deep breath as I push the doors open,

Just knowing that Emma's voice will be enough for me to be able to stand being here...

_**Feeling and knowing you hear me  
It keeps me alive**_

**Emma:**

Snake's dead!

I _know _he is!

He has to be...

His heart can't take this;

I mean, he already had cancer...

Now a heart attack?

Even Snake isn't going to be strong enough to deal with this.

I shake my head and start to cry some more.

"It'll be ok Em," Manny says, hugging me

"No, Manny, it won't. Snake's gonna die."

"Emma, _don't _say that!"

"Manny, how much do you think can he take? I'm not going to sit here pretending that everything's gonna be okay, alright?! Nothing _ever_ is!"

I yell and Manny starts to cry.

I didn't mean to make her cry but, I mean...

Snake's dead!

I just _know_ he is..

_**And I know you're shining down on me from heaven  
Like so many friends we've lost along the way  
And I know eventually we'll be together  
One sweet day**_

**Sean:**

I walk into the lobby and see Manny crying and hugging a pale looking blonde.

It's Emma of ocurse and I walk over to the 2 of them.

"C-Can I sit?" I ask, not sure what she'll say.

Emma doesn't even look at me.

"Of course, Sean." Manny says, motioning with her free arm to the chair on the other side of her.

I sit down...and wait.

"Have we...I mean do they know anything yet?"

I ask, rubbing my hands together nervously.

Manny shakes her head,

"No. We don't. Spike went to go check."

I nod.

Then I look at Emma

She looks so scared.

I wish I could hug her,

But, lucky me, Manny's already got that covered.

Besides...

She doesn't seem like she wants anything to do with _me_ anyway...

I'm so sorry about all the crap that happened with us...

About what's happening now...

But...I still love her.

And I wish I could say that to her...now

Before anything worse happens...

_**  
Darling, I never showed you  
Assumed you'd always be there  
I took your presence for granted**_

**Emma:**

Sean's _here_.

I can't believe he's actually here.

I haven't seen him since...well since forever it seems like.

And it kinda hurts that this is what it took for me to see him again.

Just like us...

_Tragic._

"I'm gonna go check on your mom, ok?"

Manny says, and she stands up, walking towards the hospital hallway.

Manny knew, she _just _knew, that I wanted to check on mom, but wouldn't be able to...

She's the _best _friend ever...

Now, that I'm just sitting here...staring...

I try not to think about Sean being here,

Because if Snake's dead?

I mean, what does Sean even matter?

_He doesn't,_ I tell myself.

_I have too much other stuff going on,_

I think,

But...

Still...

I can't believe he's _actually_ here.

For Snake...

For me...

Right when I needed him to be.

And...

Even though he doesn't matter...

I still have to tell him...

_**But I always cared  
And I miss the love we shared**_

**Sean:**

Man!

This is really just..._messed _up!

Emma looks at me

And I have to look away

I wanna hug her _so_ bad

Tell her, it'll be alright

But...I can't.

Suddenly, I feel her warm hand slipping onto mine.

And I feel her squeezing my hand tightly.

"Sean? Thank you...for being here."

I look at her and I smile.

But, I feel her fingers; they're shaking

And she looks so scared.

I wish I could _just_ tell her.

"You don't have to thank me, Emma,"

I say, instead.

"Sean," she says crying,

"Snake's dead, Sean! I just know he is!"

And she leans over throwing her arms around me.

I shake a little as I hug her gently...kissing her hair...too softly for her to feel...

_**And I know you're shining down on me from heaven  
Like so many friends we've lost along the way  
And I know eventually we'll be together  
One sweet day**_

**Emma:**

This feels so good

And so wrong,

And so...scary.

"He's _not_ Emma. Don't say that..."

Sean says to me,

"He _has_ to be Sean. I mean, everything been going wrong, why would his heart attack all of a sudden go so right?"

I say and I shake my head, crying harder, when he doesn't answer.

Once again replaying all my memories,

of Sn-

My _dad,_ in my head.

_**How** am I going to deal with this?_

_**Although the sun will never shine the same  
I'll always look to a brighter day**_

**Sean:**

I hope Emma's not right..

I mean, everything this year has pretty much sucked

Except for her, of course.

But...that's over...

Mr. Simpson, _dead_?

I can't even _think_ that way.

He _always_ helped me out.

He was _always _there for me

He _always_ forgave me, even when I messed up bad.

I can't-I mean, I never really _thought _about him dying.

Not even when he had cancer...

I don't know why...

_Come on Mr. Simpson! Don't do this!_

I think.

Then remembering how sad Emma was when she _thought _Snake was going to die of cancer;

Scares me, thinking how she'll feel if he actually does.

_Emma needs you!_

Then, I can _finally_ feel the tears and reality hitting me as I think...

_**I **need you!_

_**  
Lord I know when I lay me down to sleep  
You will always listen as I pray**_

**Emma:**

"Emma?! It's Manny." Sean says and sitting up away from his shoulder

I see Manny rushing up to us.

"Emma! He's awake! He's ok, Em!"

She say smiling and crying

"The doctors said he's gonna be ok!"

_Thank God!!!_

I think.

I'm still crying though,

And...

I think Sean started crying,

But, I just stand up and hug Manny, smiling.

"Come on!" she says grabbing my hand we both rush toward the lobby door.

_Sean,_ I think, stopping.

Sean, who was here when I needed him...

Who I now realize is _still _just as beloved to me as he always has been.

I look back at him, he's sitting in the chair smiling after us.

Trying, I'm sure, to look like he knew all along that everything was gonna be fine.

His eyes are dry; he wiped away the tears.

_Typical Sean Cameron,_ I think, but I smile and yanking Manny back with me in the process, I rush over and grab Sean's shaky hand.

"_Sean?! _Come on already!"

**Sean:**

I stand up-well, Emma forces me up but, whatever-

And I walk after Emma and Manny into Mr. Simpson's room.

Mrs. Nelson is standing there holding his hand.

He looks over at us and says nodding weakly and kinda holding up Mrs. Nelson's hand.

"Nothing like waking up...and finding out...that she's still willing to hold your hand..."

I guess Emma had forgotten that she was still holding my hand...

I hadn't and I sigh with a smile as Mr. Simpson says this

But, I can feel Emma whencing a little and then she gently drops my hand.

I don't think about this...

I just shove my hands into my pockets and focus on Mr. Simpson...

He looks so..._dead,_

That's the only way I can think.

But he's not,

So, I can smile about the thought.

_He's not._

Manny and Emma walk over to his bedside.

Emma grips his free hand tightly and Manny leans over kissing his cheek.

I just stand in the doorway staring at the...family and smiling at the sight.

"Sean," he says tiredly as he glances over at me, seems like he just noticed I was here...

"So glad you could...make it..."

For some reason, I can feel tears rushing to my eyes again and I try to talk to him,

Try to tell him-them, really-that I'm sorry for putting his family; his daughter; _him_ through so much bullcrap.

"Mrs. Nelson? Mr. Simpson? I'm really-"

Mrs. Nelson walks over to me shaking her head and after hugging me says

"Don't, honey. He needs his rest, ok?"

I nod a little and she leans toward me whispering with an understanding expression

"And...we know."

She says before squeezing my arm and walking back over to Snake, who nods at me a little and closes his eyes sleepily.

I love Emma's family.

And...

I look over at Emma and she's looking back at me, smiling...

Even though she's still crying...

She's still...beautiful

And I realize that I can't deal with this anymore.

"I-I gotta go." I say and I walk out the room

Wishing I could just say it before I go...

But I can't.

Especially not now...

So I just walk out,

Walk away,

I'll have to deal with..._us_ some other time.

**Emma:**

Sean's leaving,

I wanna rush out after him,

Tell him to stay.

He's like family to us by now anyway.

Well...

To them...

He's _so_ much more than that to me

But I can't go after him...

_Still _can't,

So I just grip Snake's hand tightly.

Telling myself,

_Snake's ok. That's what **really **matters._

But one of the tears that falls?

It's not because of Snake.

It's because I wish I'd gone after Sean...

And I'm just hoping that the next time I see him...

I'll finally be able to tell him...

_**Sorry I never told you **_

_**All I wanted to say ...**_


	8. To Hell and Back to Heaven

_**Author's Note:**_

_Last Chapter! Please Review!_

_**Jazzy-Raveler!**_

_**Chapter 8-To Hell and Back...to Heaven**_

**Emma:**

Snake's been back home a few days...

And I've been trying my best not to think about what mighta happened.

What might _still _happen...

Basically, I've just been keeping busy to avoid _any_ thinking.

It's help me to stop thinking about Snake...

But not about Sean.

Sean, Sean, Sean,

Ever since that day in the hospital?

I haven't been able to stop thinking about him.

I mean, when someone you love _almost_ dies?

It kinda puts things in perspective...

And now, I know,

That whatever Sean said...

Or did...

Or-or...whatever.

It doesn't matter

Nothing does...

Everytime I try to remind myself of everything he's put me through

My mind keeps fighting it with memories of everything we _used _to be...

Even Back when we _first _started dating...

How he made me feel...

How he was the only guy who could _ever_ make me feel that way...

And our first date,

And our first kiss,

And then I remember everything that we still can be.

When that happens I always have to fight the urge to run out the door,

All the way to his apartment and just hug him and tell him...

But..._this_ time?

When I finally break myself away from the thoughts?

It's too late to convince myself not to go...

I'm already headed out the door.

_**Oh, thinkin' about all our younger years  
There was only you and me**_

**Sean:**

Yeah,

Emma's been pretty much on my brain 24/7 since that day in the hospital.

I talked to Manny the other day.

She called to tell me that Snake is doing good and he's outta the hospital.

So that's good news...

I feel bad that I never went to see him again though...

And I'm wondering how Emma's holding up...

Every time I think about going to see her-Snake, I mean

I remember that she don't need me.

And that Emma Nelson is as tough a girl as I know;

I mean she has pretty much made it through hell and back a bunch of times

I should know;

Half the time I was the one who took her there.

But anyway,

It's weird but I haven't just been thinking about Emma;

I've been thinking a lot about...us.

How good it was when we first got back together?

And even way back when we _first_ got together.

_**We were young and wild and free**_

And I've been thinking about everything that happened in the last few years.

How I felt when I was in Wasaga?

How determined I _was _that I'd never hurt her again?

Man...

It all seems so stupid now.

I wish I could _just_ tell her!

Just tell her that I'm tired of this,

That it made no sense for us to break up anyway; that it was all a misunderstanding.

Tell her that she'll _always_ have my heart.

As dumb and mushy and crappy as that sounds?

It's true.

_What's the point of just thinking about it?_

I think finally and I get my lazy procrastinating ass off the couch,

Yank my jacket off the doorknob

And walk out the door.

_I gotta tell her truth..._

I think,

Got to; she's the only thing I can think about...

_She'll want to get back together_

I think,

She _has_ to...

And I'm hoping she'll know...

That I'm _not _gonna lose her again...

_**Now, nothin' can take you away from me**_

**Emma:**

_Be home Sean! Be there Sean! Please be there!_

I think as I'm walking since I'm not sure if I'll be able to work myself up to say what I want to say again...

Not for a while anyway...

Maybe another whole month!

I laugh a little as I turn down the street Sean's apartment is on.

And I close my eyes and reassure myself, despite my screaming insides, that I amdoing the right thing.

I mean, I love him but being logical and all I can't help but to know that Sean?

Sean is _so_ wrong for me

And _so _stupid and _so_ childish and _so_ chaotic!

But...

I _still_ love him

He's _all _I can think about

And all I want to think about...

I push my crossed arms up against my chest, and force my shaking legs down the street.

I mean I've gotten back with Sean before...

I'm _always_ back getting back with Sean.

But...

I guess this time it's different,

This time?

I don't know.

I guess just thinking about how I felt when I thought Snake was gone?

And when Sean came? Was there for me right when I needed him to be?

And then how bad I felt just thinking about what if he hadn't been there...

I mean what if I'd finally...lost him.

For _real_ real.

And not over some stupid drugs or something?

_Really_ lost him? Like I thought I'd lost Snake?

I shake a little and brush the thoughts away.

I can't think that way...

And I smile just knowing that when I see Sean _this_ time?

When I kiss him again...

_Hold_ _him _again?

There won't-no, there _can't_ be any more break ups...

_**We've been down that road before  
But that's over now**_

**Sean:**

It's a little cold out here and I have my hands shoved in pockets as I'm walking.

Driving faster, I know.

But walking gives me a chance to think of what to say to her.

How to convince her that breaking up was a mistake, and it's not doing us any good.

I try to believe that she'll know, she'll jsut know that I'm telling the truth.

I lean forward a little and walk faster; stomping hard.

Seems kinda like I'm fighting the wind...

But, I'm really just fighting the thoughts that are telling me to turn back...

Telling me that going to talk to Emma isn't gonna do any good...

I mean, she didn't believe me before, why would she believe me now?

I think, and I stop walking, the thoughts finally starting to win...

_Last time I saw her..._

_Last time I saw her..._

I think, and closing my eyes I remember...

_She smiled at me!_ I remember suddenly,

At the hospital she smiled at me like she was...like the smile was actually _for_ me.

I start to walk again thinking,

Well, _hoping _anyways,

That Snake's heart attack _really_ opened her eyes.

It sure as hell opened mine...

And I know now that if I don't try at least one more time to get her back?

I'll regret it for the rest of my life...

I love her and nothing dumb like this is worth losing her...

I turn the last corner leading out of this neighborhood and toward Main Street.

_She still loves me..._

I think, as I close my eyes shaking my head a little.

_She still loves me..._

I realize, as I open my eyes and then stop dead cold where I'm standing...

If she didn't?

Then why is she...

Walking up to me...

Right now.

_**You keep me comin' back for more **_

**Emma:**

There Sean is,

Standing there staring at me

Like he hopes I'm walking towards him.

I stop walking and try to read his face...

He looks tired, and sad...just like I'm sure I do...

And the wind whips at our backs crazily,

and I have to hold strong to my ground

I'm sure Sean does too...

I squint at him and try to make sure I wasn't just _hoping_ that he looked happy to see me.

He looks so worried and suddenly I'm not so sure...

I mean, was he even _coming_ to see me?

_Walking_ to my house?

I thought so at first...

But _now_?

I realize that he probably would've just drove...

My heart sinks and I wait to see what he'll do.

After a minute or so...

I feel cold and tired and scared out of my mind,

And I push my crossed arms against my chest harder nodding at Sean hopefully...

Sean finally eases his hands out of his jacket pockets and holds them towards me _hopefully_...

All of a sudden my heart is racing again,

And my cold, tired, scared, feeling?

Is disintregrating into my hopeful smile

Sean smiles at me too...

I am so crazily relieved and I race into Sean's arms and start to tear up as Sean lifts me up hugging me tightly.

I just hug him and hug him and kiss the side of his head crying,

Knowing that I'm content to just _stay_ _here **for**ever_;

Hugging Sean;

Holding Sean;

Being so insanely happy, that I can...

_**Baby you're all that I want  
When you're lyin' here in my arms**_

_**I'm findin' it hard to believe  
We're in heaven**_

**  
Sean:**

I am so...

I mean everything in my life couldn't be further from perfect.

And yet here Emma is again...

In my arms...

_Me,_

Piece-of-crap, Nothing-Special Me being enough for her.

I can't handle thinking about it...

And I start to tear up...

_Dammit! I'm crying!_

I set Emma on the ground carefully,

And I try to say something, forcing the tears back in as I do...

"Emma? _I'm so_...I mean, I just-"

"Shhh Sean." She says putting her soft hands on my face and holding my face close to hers...

"_You've_ apologized _e_-_nough_._ I'm _sorry, ok? I should've just let _everything _go and I'm sorry. I love you."

I never thought I was going to hear that again.

I smile at Emma but I still manage not to cry, even though she's bawling like a baby.

I hug her again and I kiss her soft blonde head.

I didn't need her to say sorry like I thought I did...

I didn't need her to say it...

All I needed, I mean,

All I really wanted was for Emma Nelson to show me that she got what I _had_ to believe all along...

What I _have_ to feel to be able to stand being with her...

Love _is_ enough.

_**And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven **_

**Emma:**

How did I ever-

I'm sorry,

How **_do_** I, always let Sean Cameron go?

I mean...it's him.

He _is_ "the one"...

Like everyone always talks about.

He's shaped my entire life.

He is so...amazing.

I love him...

**Sean:**

"I love you too."

I say and I hug Emma tighter...

As tight as I _possibly _can, as I turn her with me and start walking back the way I came.

The last 2 months without Emma have been really bad..._really _bad.

But, I didn't know how bad it'd had been until she started leaning her head onto my shoulder and reminding me how it feels to be with her...

_The last 2 months were Hell, _

I realize now.

_But here I am,_

I think,

Here we are, _again_.

Same old, same old...

I love her_ so _much.

Emma Nelson is the _only_ girl I have ever felt like this about;

Like...an idiot, a complete and total jackass every time I see her.

Ever since the first day I ever met her,

Man, I just knew-don't know how but I knew-that she would be in my life for a _long_ time.

Now? Years later?

_All_ this time?

_All _the crap that's happened?

And here she is again...

Loving me,

Wanting me,

And hugging me

Like I'm actually worth loving, hugging, or wanting...

And helping me to start and realize that sometimes life?

It can actually be kinda...good.

Awesome, really...

_Man,_ I love her!

_**Oh, once in your life you find someone  
Who will turn your world around**_

_**Bring you up when you're feelin' down  
Yeah, nothin' could change what you mean to me**_

**Emma:**

The wind has settled and so have my tears.

We're walking up to Sean's door

And I'm trying to search my mind and find the words to say what I'm feeling;

If there _are_ words.

Sometimes I feel like...

Like, Sean is the only one who sees me...

Like he can read my heart and know exactly what I need...

Him.

I know how cheesy that'll sound, but it's true.

Still, I try to find a better way to say it.

A better than just I love you...

Like...:

I need you,

I breathe you,

I live you,

But Sean is squeezing me so tightly,

That even if I could find them,

I could barely get them out anyway.

So, I just hug him back,

Just as tight,

And I think,

_He gets the picture..._

_**Oh, there's lots that I could say  
But just hold me now**_

_**'Cause our love will light the way **_

**  
Sean:**

We're back at my apartment

And she's sitting on the couch

I put my jacket on the counter and walk over to her,

Say the first thing that comes-guiltily-to mind...

As I try to avoid her eyes...

'Emma?...How's Snake?"

"He's fine." Emma says shaking her head and she pulls me down on the couch next to her.

She pulls my face into hers, kissing me for just a second.

Then she says, while she turns around and leans back into my arms

"Let's not talk about Snake, right now, ok?"

And I just nod, holding her,

Not believing that I actually...

I _really_ got another chance

_**Baby you're all that I want  
When you're lyin' here in my arms**_

_**I'm findin' it hard to believe  
We're in heaven**_

**Emma:**

Sean is so...

I try again to find the words as I close my eyes leaning into his chest.

Instead, I just think about everything he's done for me...

_Everything_ he's shown me...

Not to mention, how insanely boring my life would be without him...

And a tear comes to my eye.

I can't believe it took Snake almost _dying_ for me to realize that...

I don't wanna be without Sean Cameron.

_How stupid can you possibly be, Emma?_

I wonder.

I mean, Sean?

He's so **_not_** perfect;

But...

Neither am I.

Ok, Em.

I think

And I decide not to think about the what-ifs.

Instead, I just smile, maneuver my hand around Sean's-his arms are draped around my shoulders-and wipe away the tear.

Because now?

Now I am in Sean's arms, and I can have all I-or, anyone else for that matter-needs; ever needed to begin with:

_Love_.

The _real_...

_**Strong**..._

Cry-like-a-baby kind...

Sean Hope Cameron gives me that...

_**And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see  
We're in heaven **_

**Sean:**

It's so strange to think about now...

I mean, it's like...

Man!

One minute, I'm with Emma everythings cool.

The next thing I know I'm sitting there,

Missing her...

Dreaming about her...

Wishing like_ hell, _that I had her.

And now...

Here she is...

_Actually_ back with me...again...

I laugh a little as I think...

_Now, I know what Emma means_

_When she says_

_"Sometimes, it's just too much to think about"..._

_**Now our dreams are comin' true **_

**Emma:**

_Well, here we go again!_

I think,

_Round number 4!_

And I laugh a little.

But then I think with a sharp nod.

_Last Round._

I'm not leaving Sean again...

Or letting him leave me...

_This is it,_

I promise myself.

_This **has** to be it._

I don't care what the hell he does...

I _don't_ care and I'm not going to make myself believe that I do.

I mean, I can pretty much handle anything we might go through...

And so can he...

I already _know_ that.

But what I _can't_ handle?

What I can't handle...

Is being without Sean.

_**Through the good times and the bad **_

_**I'll be standing there by you **_

**Sean:**

Emma sits up and turns around and looks at me.

"Sean," she says, all seriously and bobbing her head crazily. "I'm not, I mean this is _it_, ok? No more drugs or drinking or-or anything all right? Cuz, this _is_ it. I love you, alright? _I love you_."

I nod at her smiling, and I move her hair away from her eyes-all that crazy Emma head bobbing got it in her eyes.

I start to smile thinking that, but I don't. Instead, I sit up and look right in her eyes; I want her to know that I'm _dead_-serious.

"No more Emma; ever. I love you, too. And I _know_...I mean, I don't need any a that dumb shit to get by..."

_**Baby you're all that I want  
When you're lyin' here in my arms**_

_**I'm findin' it hard to believe  
We're in heaven**_

**Emma:**

"I've got you." Sean says and he leans over, kissing me.

I lean back a little and shake my head as I do.

I think about everything that it took just to get us here...

A school dance,

A horrendous first date,

A crazy panther dance,

A dumb alley fight,

A wedding,

A disasterous dinner and Sean drinking,

Sean not going with me to find my dad,

Snake being diagnosed with Cancer,

Me, my big mouth,-Sean's was there too, though-and some dumb blowout about cleaning the freaking ravine,

A...shooting,

Sean falling off a dumb waterthingy,

Sean staying...in Wasaga,

Missing each other _like_ Hell,

A stupid eating disorder,

Drug dealing,

Snake _almost_ dying,

And I wish that we could've-

Wish that _I _could've just gotten the picture earlier,

_But, it's ok..._

I think, as I pull Sean to me and kiss him..._hard_;

_I get it now..._

_**And love is all that I need  
And I found it there in your heart  
It isn't too hard to see**_

**Sean:**

I pull back from kissing Emma and look in her big brown eyes.

And I'm not _too_ worried now.

I mean, we've made through every disaster possible seems like.

Any more?

They can't mess us up too bad...

I don't think so anyway...

I _hope not _anyways.

But...

Emma leans forward and kisses me again.

Then she pulls her legs up onto the couch-sitting cross-legged-and grabs both my hands,

Facing me with that look she always has when she's about to talk a mile-a-minute.

She's crying too.

So...

I just look back at her and smile

And try not to think about all that messed up crap right now...

**Sean/Emma: (Thoughts)**

I mean, _we've been through_ **_hell_**...

But we _still_ made it.

I think we both finally realize that this...

Us?

We're a lot stronger than we _both _thought...

And, for each other?

Even going through hell can be handled...

Cuz, when we finally make it back to one another...

_**  
We're in Heaven **_

The End

Ok Guys! Hope you loooovveedd it! I hope you had as much fun reading this as I had writing it.

I am _definitely _gonna do a sequel.

Anyway tho' anyone -please guys-anyone who liked this story

Pleeeeaaasssseee review ok?

I mean come on!

It's the last chapter...

Love ya lots guys!

_**Jazzy-Raveler!**_


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